All my bags are packed but yet i'm not ready to go.

I wanna go to school but i dun wanna move there.

I thought of somewhere else to stay but its damn far from school.

I wanna continue staying here.

But i'm done begging.

I called and tried so hard searching for it but i can't seem to feel it.

I wished i had someone here to cuddle me and tell me everything's gonna be alrite even when i know its not gonna be alright at all.

Why has this year gotta be so hard on me.

Isn't it enough i wont have love.

I gonna break down but i remembered someone once told me crying wont solve anything so be strong and face it.

God where are u?

I need help.

Labels: i dont wanna have to go

Its another day of school and guess what!

I woke up late and i had to rush like some mad kid.

Rushed out, realised i didnt bring my wallet out, turned back, got the cab uncle to wait for me downstairs then went to get it then rushed to school.

Done my make up in the cab.

Fierce. 

And the uncle was nice enough to keep rushing.

It was raining in the morning.

Anyways Reached, not many dogs to do so i got to go back at 3.

Reached home, went to sleep.

Woke up, best was alr getting ready to go out.

Got another day to go and i miss it so bad alr.

Soon i'll be moving again.

This time my dooms day is really arriving.

No studs no smoking no nothing.

No more late nite walks around mustafa.

No more crazy fights, talks, laughs and all

I'd miss how boring it can get and just decide to walk over to mustafa for short walks around.

I'd miss laughing at each other and make jokes bout how smelly they are and all.

I'd miss walking out of mustafa in the middle of the night then walk to the $1 shop to buy mineral water.

I'd miss crossing the road.

I'd miss going for scissors curry rice.

I dont wanna leave.

I don't have a choice.

I can't choose.

The more i go to school, the more i miss my little princess back home!

So many things i have to give up just for he sake, peace and happiness of others.

Labels: i'd miss it all

Labels: aku rindu kamu cb

I slept this morning and i still couldn't take u off my head..

I wanna play this game but i don't have what it takes.

SCREWED up balls!

I still can't seem to give up and move on.

I'm currently at home alone.

I hate being alone.

It makes me weak inside.

I'm so close to crying each time this kinda things happen.

I wanna fight and win this game.

I cannot play dirty so i gotta play it right.

I hate it when it takes me less than a day to fall for people.

The longest drags.

I feel like i'm a failure in this kinda things.

Anyways k came to look for k as he is still sleeping.

She misplaced my keys.

I gotta look for em but im too lazy too so later it shall be.

Baby E i know u meant well but still i can't.

Please be there with me kaes.

I need u alot in times like that.

I know u're busy so its ok.

I'll leave it.

Labels: i still cant let go.

Ok I'm out from that place.

The only 2 i can't give up and let go is mummyB and twinkle.

I really don't know how to describe this feeling.

The feeling of crying is back.

I have my 4 lovely pies with me..

JKES this 4 i love most

Over my dead body will i let them go!

They mean the world to me.

I'm starting school on monday!

Fingers crossed.

Pray for me people.

Hope everything goes out fine.

And to u.

I'm trying my best to get over u

What happened the other day seems to have happened so fast.

Too fast infact.

I shouldn't have let my emotions take over me.

I shouldn't have cried for u.

I should have known better then to be so naive.

I should have known that no one would turn out to be like how i want it to be.

I have no expectations.

All i'm asking for is that i feel comfortable with u and we last.

So tired of having to start all over again and again.

Tired of having to go through so much one after another.

It seems to always happen to me.

I have the same thing happening over and over again like a million times.

But yet i don't seem to learn my lesson.

I don't understand why i'm only taken as a fat soft toy to people.

Labels: feeling crappy

I gave my all everytime but that is always nvr good enough.

I'm confused.

Why is it always the same ending in the end..

Used to it i shall say.

I almost lost it all away last night.

I always shld have known not to bet on it with everything i've got.

Yet i lost something last night.

It was the first time.

I tried to curb it but it just happpen to take place.

I'm afraid i wont be able to pull my self out.

 Its yesterdays date that will always be with me.

Pictures ran through my head millions of time.

The scene that took place replayed over and over again.

I was tired but every hour i would just wake up unknowningly.

Trying to put myself back in bed takes forever.

When i close my eyes i see u.

I dreamt bout u a thousand time.

Now get it cracking cos i know its all a game again

Labels: dissapointed

OMG!

PEOPLE!

Guess what!

S cleverly left her fone under the void deck's table and left without it..

And we walked away from it for 30mins alr then she realised its not there..

Then we went back and we were panic-ed stiff..

So We walked as fast as our legs can carry us.

Got back there and guess what!

It was there la..

Anyways S gave B hamsters..

They're super cute la..

Bloody monstersly happy!

Then then then anyways i went out to meet J and K this afternoon..

We went to the new T1 place.Shit place pls.Boring as hell.

Walked to tamp mall walked around then went to eat.

After that went to sit down at coffee beans but then didnt buy anything..

Then we went in to tamp mall and walk around again.

Went to buy bubble tea then went to ikea all..

Fruitful day it is but tiring as hell..

K hasnt slept in a day, J slept for 3hrs then went for 3hrs lecture.

Ok bye!

Labels: walked till my legs almost give way

Labels: im down down down. dun ask me why

Labels: pending..

Labels: i noe im useless but im willing to change.

Labels: policeman nobody nobody..

Labels: now fck off

Labels: bitching ard is contagious

Labels: i want i wan i wan la nb

Crap all thanks to the damn laptop that crashed and die, i have nothing to use and i have to beg my sister to lend me even just for awhile.

Some ppl promised to get it for me but is chewing on her words now.

I super like it.

Waved around and thought of working first but i quickly sticked back with my decision.

Anyways i feel like crap now although i get alot of joy hanging out with jelly, stefe and all..

But things seem to have changed..

I no longer am happy with the things i get..

I got sick of them.

I want them all changed including myself..

I can't seem to stand the sight of myself..

I get so disgusted..

Anyways someone betrayed me..

I hate people now!

I wish i can stab everyone to death..

Or maybe just myself.

ok bye

Labels: go shawty

Hey hey people!

Stefe came over last night and we had no money at all.. dammit..

We cam-whored and we laughed like some retarded kids.

Seriously she did something damn ugly..

Anyways we went to meet jason in the night and we were damn hungry so he went to central to get food for us..

We slacked till 11 and left..

All of us went seperate ways.

U are my good fren.

U even called me ur sister so why are u even lying to me?

Is it so hard to even tell me the truth?

Fine go ahead and do wadever u want.

I have nothing against u up till now..

I'll just wait and see if u regard me as even just a friend.

Oh ya so stefe came over again today.

And we went out to buy food.

Wanted to disturb those mofo's in shop and safe but then one of the lady didnt even bother to check IC..

Dammit..

So we went back, had dinner and went out to meet fatin and tambi..

Slacked till 11 and headed home..

It was raining la dammit.

Slippers wet like fuck and leg filled with sand for some reason..

Anyways baby i minta maaf kay.

I didnt meant to prangai with u.

I cannot say im upset but its just that i thought it was ok but i went over the line.

Sry ar B..

Asal now u nak merajok dengan i..

Sedih tau..

I darh minta maaf pe tapi u tak reply.

Okay la i gonna let u cool down first.

If u nak msg, msg if tak nak tak pe.

Gonna slp soon so toodles

loves brenda

Labels: im sry

Labels: i thought so but it doesnt seems so

Okay pretty humans!

The crazy mother fcking laptop died on me just now..

Whatever la huh.

Like as if anyone cares.

Like as if anyone would wanna get me a new one..

Hahahhas! *HINT HINT* Super Big HINTS!

Anyways i talked to him again and oh wow u're such an eyeopener..

How could u have done such great things and left me out when u called me ur sister.

HEBAT!! I like it very much! Do u like it too?

Anyways B where the hell are u.

I needa tell u so many things..

Bitching session soon.

But if u are gonna tell anyone i swear i gonna stuff leaves up ur ass!

Okay anyways stefe came to look for me..

I went to get ready and then we went to central so i can buy my hair dye..

Then guess what?

Some ah beng asked me to help buy cigarrette!

Cool or what!

I like that very much too..

Stefe's friends came over to look us up..

Was supposed to go and eat but then in the end we slacked all the way, played card games and laughted like crazy bitches!

Left at 11, stefe walked home, omar and nash went off as well.

Omar drived but then stefe wanted to walk home..

It WAS REALLY GOOD CHILLING WITH THEM.

THEY MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD I FELT MY TOOTH FELL OUTTA MY MOUTH

Waited for sister to come down as she wanted to smoke.

Omg he called her!!!!

Shit i dun wanna go back to the past.

God bring me along and carry on..

Okay cheesetales humans!

Labels: stop stacking up tmr cos u'll nvr find back yesterday

Labels: oh my tian

Labels: F off

Labels: i still havent said it out but its over

Labels: goodbye mr hotty.

Happy birthday to u!

U are 20 alr..

Chey!!

I hope we can be super close..

So close that u will share all ur troubles with me but that will nvr happen.

I somehow see a clear picture of what is going on.

ANYWAYS ONCE AGAIN HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAE!

OLD LADY ALR!

May all ur wishes come true and may u stop reading too much into simple things.

XOXO Brenda

Labels: i wanted to wish u personally not through sms.

Labels: i noe im not a good girl

Labels: i nvr said u liked me