i'll keep fireflies in a jar.

Gosh!

Thank god for hearing my cry..

When i was cutting twinkle's fur, my fone rang!

And guess what!

It was stephanie!

Tehees..

We were on the fone all the way till her family came back than she asked her mum if she could meet me..

And came over to meet me as soon as she got ready..

She's still down..

I tried my best talking her inside out but i guess it didnt help much so all i could do now is just keep her in prayers..

I feel for her yet there is nothing i can do for her..

I feel really bad kaes..

And rite now i feel like studying love council..

Well and my Tina sweetie is all sugary!

She actually downloaded the game i love to play into her fone!

ITs luxor and im lovin it!

Toodles for now as i've sch at 8 tmr!

Labels: u noe i'll always be there

I stayed home since fridae and im bored outta my pants!

I felt like i was gonna burst!

Its eefing boring!

And i felt like i was going crazy!

I tried calling stefe like a billion times but to no avail.

I texted her but no reply!

I wonder if everything is alrite with her..

And i still keep her in prayers everynite before retiring to bed..

I don't know why she's avoiding me.

I asked my sister and she told me what makes u think she is..

And i said idk but i just had the feeling..

I should know that she's upset and dont wanna go out..

But its sunday and she didnt even call me..

I wonder if she went to church...

If she went why didnt she ask me to tag along anymore?

She's the only close fren i have..

If i lose her then what have i got left?

Well...

I'll pray to god that everything is fine..

Moodless so i shall not go on..

Toodles!

Labels: why is everything disappearing from ma lift once again

Gosh i havent been updating for like god knows how long!

Havent been into blogging lately?

I dont know..

Omg and besides not blogging, i havent been in sch since fridae..

Means 4 days alr..

To add on to the many things, i fell down yesterday..

To those who hates or dislike me, laugh all you want cos i know u would be damn happy!

Anyway i got myself a new beautiful thing and im all excited bout it!

Yays!

Ok nothing much so im done!

TOODLES my love ones

Labels: happy and sad, lazy

Todae is the fourth day of school and i didnt skip again!

OMG i am like so happy!

I pray hard i can continue to keep up with this spirit..

Tina is the biggest reason why i go to sch everyday!

We are not les but i just love her..

And omg after sch today, i got to see stefe!

Happy!!

Anyway after sch, we went to east point for lunch..

After lunch we went to walk around..

Then we went seperate ways...

Dont u feel guity for all that has happened?

Dont u feel abit remorse at all?

Dont u feel like u ought to do something?

Didnt u say u wanna tell her u said all these?

Bet u're just too gut-less to do anything..

Or should i say no balls?

Or should i say u're just two headed snake like what those who knew u said u were?

I no longer know what and how i feel towards u anymore..

Keep away if u have too and if u want to!

Just stop being a hypocrite and thats all is enough..

To u my B boy!

I no longer know how i feel towards u..

I myself dont know if i still fell for u..

I dont no if we could be happier together..

I dont know if i should turn back..

Maybe we're better off this way..

Alrite!

TOODLES!

Labels: maybe we're better off this way

School was the same..
Still never got to change the way i was..
No matter what time i woke up and how early it was, i would still be late for sch..
I noe i am random but CA is the best!
He gave me second chance and he was the one who brought me back..
I took pictures when i was in class and somewhere else (:

I love her and i have no doubts bout that!(:

You were always there for me when i needed u just like stefe!
ILY and i really do!
You are my sunshine my lovely sunshine..
U crack jokes when i feel bored.
I like the way how u tell me everything was gonna be alrite and how everything was so childish..
I like the way u crack jokes with me and how u like disturbing me..(:

She stands by her frens..(:

I know you are damn suay to get caught by HSA every month but u're really lovely and sweet!

Thanks for caring for me!(:

Last but not least, solid me!(:

Alrite brenda is being super duper contradicting kaes..

I told myself how much i wanna forgive u but when i saw u hanging out with them like u didnt even cared how we felt, i felt angry..

But yet when i looked ur direction, i smiled but i dont think u even bothered..

Okay today i skipped S.W so went off 1 hour 30 mins earlier..

Saw stefe in sch twice and i was happy!

And when i was in the toilet with Tina, i heard her voice and i before that me and stefe we just talking bout how lucky we were gonna be..

But i bet this time i am gonna be damn suay!

Anyways went back to whitesands with nadia and i went to the pet shop to get twinkle's stuff then headed back to 191 with her..

Bought our almost daily supply then sent her off to the bus stop..

Waited for her bus, then went home..

Thanks alot for tagging along with me(:

I really appreaciate it alot!

He text me last night and i really feel veh vexed and confused now!

Someone gotta come save me quick before i drown in some quicksand!

TOODLES!

Labels: you are a hypocrite and u live like u didnt do anything at all

Alrite school was a rather hectic one..
All new subjects..
All new heavier books..
And all new lost of friends..(:
When i got to sch and didnt see u ard, i felt like texting u but i didnt..
I held myself back..
When i saw u entering for the next lesson, i wanted to smile to u but i didnt..
I held back once again..
I have no idea why..
But as i sat there, no one knows how much i wanted us to be together again like u said u did..
Then i finally realised that besides being a hypocrite, u meant well..
U didnt have any bad intentions at all..
At this point of time, i knew i was wrong myself..
I just wanna say although we cant be back together as one, HERE'S A GREAT BIG SORRY TO EERAH!
When you talked to me during the last period, i wasnt sure if i wanted to reply u..
But since u talked nicely, i felt that i should answer u too..
U were so nice but i didnt understand why u didnt like me..
STRESSED OUT BALLS!
I really miss having to hang out with u guys..
I hope things turn out fine soon..
I hope tmr will be better too..
TOODLES!

Labels: stupid stupid stupid

Today when i woke up, i thought i was god damn late but when i called stefe, she was still in bed..
So i took my time and left the hse as soon as she called..
Met her at white sands and off we went to work..
Church was just pure like distilled water..
After church, went for lunch and then uncle francis/ her papa sent us back to white sands as i had shopping to do!
Perfect!!
I bought like milions and millions of things and when i left i was a happy kid..
Chilled around and went for dinner at 443..
Met up with hanz and after that went back to chill..
All of us left at 10 as there will be sch tmr..
Stefe and i are feeling really upset as we are not ready for sch..
The sch is back to haunt me..
Good luck and enjoy all happy souls..

Labels: The sch the sch the sch.. its coming..

Gosh i slept at 9am and then woke up as soon as 12+ when stefe called..

Went to get ready after talking to stefe on the phone..

She came over to my place and from there, we went to changi again..

(2nd attempt)

And thank god, this time, there was ayam panyet for us..

After Brunch, we had to make our way out to the bus stop cos stefe didnt wanna take the bus from the interchange..

So while walking out, the malay auntie called me and we went over..

Talk, talk, talk, laugh, laugh, laugh and all alr, she told me tat fat then fat at least pretty..

Hahahahs stefe said she made my day..

So anyways we went to the bench near the bus stop to inhale contaminated air again..

We sat there and like sing, sing, sing. crap, crap, crap, and laughted like mad again..

We missed 5 buses all thanks to stefe..

She said should make guys wait and before the 4th bus came, we saw a flee market and we ran across the road to take alook..

Hahahhas the shoes were the only thing that caught our eye but too bad we didnt have cash..

We finally got back to 425 and jason was kinda pissed with us cos we were like late!

Chilled, crapped, laughed and walked over to hongkong restaurant for dinner..

We were learning cantonese all the way..

After dinner, jason left to meet weixin and her cousin so me and stefe went over to 191's area..

Chilled for a little while, cam-whored a little and left for my place..

Went up to my place for awhile and sent her down..

PICTURES WILL BE UP SOON!

Toodles..

Sch's gonna reopen in another 2 days..

Take care all and have as much fun as possible!

Labels: changi was great..and the auntie made my day (: 425 and dinner was spendid

So many things happened just in a month..
Or should i say the problem was there but someone stepped on it and blew it up...
I still thank the person for telling the truth..
Although knowing the truth hurts but if we didn't know a thing, we would be big mumbo dumbos..
You made me see through man kind and u're simple just a hypocrite..
You made our friendship sour..
You tak nak layan but in actual fact, its cos u're a bloody scary old cat!
You fck off and die also better.
You are just another of those stupid losers..
I hate you not cos u dont like me..
I hate you just cos u're a loser..
I hate you from now not cos you didnt play the back up role..
I hate you cos u're just a two headed snake..
I swallowed hard on all these stuff thinking that with my trust and patience i'll continue to love each and everyone of u..
But now i know its the matter of fact that its better letting go of all of u..
It will take me big effort but i still thank god Tina is big big loves!
You can stick to them all you one..
I aint not bothered bout all these..
I still thank you for all the happy moments we shared cos you were the sweetest thing..
But now i gotta say im sry i noe i'm wrong..
From 230308 i should have learnt..
But because of my naive-ness, i didn't believe what i was supposed to believe..
Dont tell me how much u dont wanna lose me cos losing me, is nothing but losing them means alot to u..
You were the one who told me this line "we are alr high sch kids sampai biler nak stop all these shit"
I will nvr forget this line and therefore im moving on cos after this year, life for me is a change..
Those who are not close to me will not find out where i am..
Im going away from these childish and all just bullshit place..
You people just take care k..
And stop tryna act how concern, how loving, how caring and wadever you people are..
Dont like rite, come say it in my face..
I'll be waiting.

Goodbye suckers..

Goobye 2 headed snake!

Goodbye bloody hypocrite!

Goodbye to all!

Labels: I hate to leave but upon hearing all these i take my leave..

Its currently 5 Am in the morning of Thursday..
Omg and this is like my last week and after this week, my nightmare starts..
Have been sleeping like really late these days..
I was suppose to wait for Sunrise on wednesday morning but i fell asleep..
I am gonna witness sunrise today..
Although i am feeling really sleepy right now, i am gonna promise myself to wait..

Last night stefe and i met up and went to chill..
I knew it was really boring to chill with me but i dun have a choice..
Stefe if u're reading this, i just wanna say sorry..
Went for dinner at 443, went home, watch-ed Tv/ Movie, Laugh-ed like crazy, and sent stefe off..
Ma huney called me and she was really scared..
Cam-whored with sister..
Damn funny..
Watch-ed movie online and MSN-ed (:

Still till now no one understands me..
No councellors for me cos i dont understand myself too..
I dont understand whats wrong..
No one can help me cos i myself dont know what went wrong..
Yes i admit i feel EMO most of the time..
But what am i to do when life's sucha bitch??
I dont know who i am anymore..

When i mentioned your name earlier on, i felt so dumb..
But i promise not to miss u now or ever cos i'm not the one u liked..
I told myself i moved on but i'm not sure..
I thought so..
But i hope so..
Puppy love is so fuck-ed up!

5.15 am
Talking to tina huney on msn and i'm feeling all down..
She's helping me by sending me a mail on the difference when celebrities have their make up on and without..
She's the sweetest thing in ma life..
She never fails to make me feel better besides stefe..
But i'm still feeling down and i bet i gonna cry..

Done!
I'll hug a Teddy bear to bed tightly when i miss u cos i wont cry..
I still miss u but i'll try not to cry..

Actually the hardest thing to say is Bye-bye..
Take care..

TOODLES..
XOXO Brenda..
):

Labels: i feel like i just swallowed the entire pregnant cloud.. ):

Aww man!!
Its alr friday and i'm left with 2 days to enjoy
I slept at 9am and i didnt get to see sunrise!!
Fck it!!!!
I actually woke up five hours after..
Super woman balls..
I havent had enough sleep for 2 days alr yet i got so used to sleeping late!!

Stefe came over to my place, chilled and got ready before heading over to changi for our ayam panyet..
But fcktardly, the stall alr finished selling all their chicken for the day so we had to settle down for some other stuff..
The food came and it totally suck big time..
Super salty, service was bad and it was expensive...
So we didnt eat much of the food and left feeling kinda hungry..
Walked our way to the other hawker just next door and found a ayam panyet stall and ate there...
Omg when we walked off, i almost cried as i was god damn full when stefe only felt full thats all..
Went to sit near subway as we were waiting for the bus as well as inhaling the polluted air..
Sat there and saw the Auntie judy from G.V.S.S..
She was looking at us like i dont know how to say but one word..
IRRITATING!!
Saw a guy and i gotta say he's so fucking hot i felt like i was blushing!!!!!
Bus-ed back, chilled downstairs and went back..
Mamo was showing her worst of attitude towards me which pissed me off..
Sent stefe down as i needed to check things out for my brother..
2 Guys missed the lift and when the door closed they hit the door and shouted..
When we got down, stefe was the cutest fuck..
She screamed and went like "brenda hurry up they behind us"
And there under my blk were some chinese guys and they looked at stefe..
After that i felt super stupid as they were friends with the two guys..
Stefe and i went laughing like mad girls who just got discharged from the mental hospital..
After that we went back there and think bout the most stupid thing and we discussed how i was supposed to go up..
Just nice we saw a guy carrying a guitar and she asked me to follow him..
Damn funny..
When he walked, we walked but when he stopped, we stopped too..
when he pressed the lift, we got to the same level and i realised he was a christian cos he was singing on the phone to his gf i think..

What the heck is wrong with man kind??

Have u ever thought that you were the hypocrite all these while??

Do u know its like freaking hard to tel u how i felt??

I dont like u but i dare not say again..

TOODLES!!

XOXO BRENDA

Labels: i'm feeling all weak from the inside of me and i am sad

Why is it so easy to lie yet so hard to just admit??

Confession is the best thing to be enclosed..

I hate the fact that i'm trueful to u but you treat me this way..

I think many things changed after u got your way there..

you changed so much till i no longer know who you are..

I really needa break from all these shit i'm having to bear with rite now..

The way u're treating me feels so wrong..

I shouldnt have helped..

At least if i didnt do anything, i feel that i've helped..

U're getting from bad to worst but yet i cant say a thing..

I can no longer take it lying down..

I asked myself many a times but yet to no answer..

I dont think i can continue to love all of u the way i used to as things changed...

U went down but i've yet to get any calls from you..

U too are a liar..

I went to bed at 7am in the morning and woke up 4 hrs later..
Met stephanie and went for dinner..
After dinner went to chill and got a call from hanz so walked over to meet him...
Left at 11pm and home bitter yet sweetest home..

TOODLES!!

Labels: if there was a award to be given out, than the best liar award goes to u

Its currently 5.20 in the morning and i've yet to be in bed..
Talked with Tina, Liza and another few people on msn..
Tina called me on my fone and we chatted for awhile.
I feel bad ok..
But these week i shld be and shall be super eefing busy..
Felt damn tired at ard 2+ but couldnt get to sleep...
So for now i shall get my beauty sleep soon..
Later BFF confirm call me so i better go get some sleep..(:
*damn confident*skali tak call*
Okay i shall Update again later..
So Toodles for now!!
So long..

Labels: i need to slp.. its 5.30A.M