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And so it goes..
well.. its 3+ in the morning and i cant get to bed yet.. i talked to my baby like finally although its just online.. and i nvr knew i would say this but i told her i love my enermies.. seems like i alr let the past hatreds behind me and moved.. i feel that kinda feeling that is hard to describe.. so much feelings running up and down.. i feel like i gonna burst.. 100608 is how i gonna say i feel rite now.. i felt like i was gonna get blowned away by that strong wind and rain like it nvr rained for years.. feeling like pregnant clouds right now.. i said i miss fatheha.. and i really do miss her.. well she said i was unbelievable.. she said after what she's done i still miss her??? yes i do.. indeed i miss her more than i can say.. i miss him too.. the him i can nvr forget for now.. its been so long.. i dare not take another step i'm afraid i'll do it wrong all over again.. i wanna say i'm over it yet i dare not.. if i ever see u again what will u do?? what will i do?? i wanna carry on but i'm still thinking will u stop me?? will u make the world stop spinning for a period of time before it starts fast forwarding again.. will u hold me back and tell me how much u love me??? or will u just walk away like u nvr knew me and hurt me like a knife just stabbed through my heart.. or will u just do anything just to get me off ur back?? i wanna know and i wanna know so badly but yet it makes me so afraid to see u once again it hurts me to see u this way.. i nvr wanna break ur heart again.. but wad am i to do.. i'm all messed up.. ur face has alr been carved into my head.. and i know its me who can't seem to move on and yet i was the one who walked out of u.. its been a short period of time.. its too fast but yet ur innocence touched my heart and it was ur innocence that made me wanna hold back.. ur innocence still stays and it lingers around me every now and then.. i wan someone to love too.. i need someone there for me when i'm down too. i need someone who cares for me.. i need someone who appreaciates me.. i need someone whom i can manje with.. i need someone who accepts the way i am.. i need someone who will love me and forget all my flaws.. i need someone to kiss my pain away too.. imma girl too..imma good kid too but why does all these have to be on me.. why can't things change and why does it hit me back again.. it hit me so bad.. so hard.. boy i'm sorry for everything but i hope u forgave me.. at times i dont wanna go on with life.. i feel like giving up but yet since i was brought out to this world i must be brave and have the guts to live on.. love me will u???? allah pls take away my pain.. pls bring me back to where u think i deserve to go.. pls help me make things right and pls help me to bring it down.. i dont wanna be back on drugs to help me sleep i dont wanna do all these kinda things no one likes... pls help me.. amen.. Labels: imma good kid but why is heaven doing this to me?????????? |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
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