i'll keep fireflies in a jar.

oh god friday night was great!!!!!

B2 didnt have cash to go out and i was left with nothing so she got her frens over!!
(may, may's bf, jer cutie, mark louis and asaph)

asaph left soon after

we dink drank drunk!!

and we were all crazy..

B2 suggested a drag show so all of us put on make up..

imagine those 3 guys with make up as well!!

super cute/gay..

played, danced and sing ard..

after that mark cooked for us and he got pissed off with louis cos louis anyhow put chilli and cornflour into the mixture..(laughs)

aftermath of drinking and going crazy, we all got tired..

louis went to bed first..

soon after may and her boyfren went into the room too..

around 5am, melvin came..

but we alr ran out of drinks..

mark fell asleep on the sofa and soon after he went into the room to slp..

chilled all the way till 6am, B2 and mel sent jer home..

i went to bed to..

slp for awhile cos B2, mel and louis damn noisy..

they kept laughing..

so woke up and chilled with them..

thought ____ *ahem* went off alr but ___ was still slping..=)
(not gonna say who it is)=P

we ended up laughing again and all of them left at 10.30a.m..

(guess and see if u noe who is the sweetie i think is cute..)=)

B2 cleared up and went to bed..

i went to get ready and poof off i went to meet stefe!!

went to chill than came over to my place, watched movie online and sent her down cos she needed to be at her aunt's place for her cousin's birthday party..

went down, thought her parents were here ended up it was my mum..

so i rushed back home and kept away some dangerous item..

aites i gonna kill away my time so tatas!!

EXAM ARE ON MONDAY!!!

DIE DIE DIE!!

BUT STILL GOOD LUCK TO ALL!!

i think he's so cute..
when B2 tried putting us together i was so afraid i would blush but lucky i was red from drinking alr..
omg i dont mind being with him..seriously..
he's so romantic can!!
i like him i like him!!
so crashy!!
how how how!!

i love all my loves like a sunflower loves to smile!!!!!!
Toodles!!
XOXO ADNERB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aites todae i was late for sch again even though i didnt attend all the lessons cept for the last one..
i was late cos my phone batt low so i went back home to charge..
after that, while waiting for cab, i realised i didn't have my landyard with me..
and so i raced as fast as my feets could carry me and went back to get it..
then went down to wait for cab again..
after class ended, went home straight..
how boring can that be!!!
walked to MRT station with both my lovely's
and on the way there were ghost stories!!
got home and after awhile, i fell asleep..
slept all the way till 8.45pm and called hanz back as he called me when i was sleeping..
sister changed her plans and her frens came over instead..
drinking is what they gonna do tonight and i am either joining in the fun or not means sleep like a pig i will..
i gonna slp like a baby that needs long hours of slp...
and i hate u like a child hates to eat medicine!!!!!

no meeting ups, no calls and no picking up of my calls are wad u're good at then i got nothing to say!!

no hang outs with my girls todae = sad and boring!!!

i miss u and think of u like a zillion care bears!!

goodie brenda went to sch todae..=)
wanted to be late but my huney told me she would be alone so i went down by cab again...
met her in sch and like forever she's so blur..
attended 2 classes and left for changi to eat ayam panyet!!!
eerah, tina, teha, shasha, RX and me this time..
my byba didn't come to sch..
in the bus i felt tired and my eye hurt so i rest on baby's shoulder and we were holding hands..
okay she's my les partner!!
after all that, shasha went off, and the rest of us bused to 201..
tina went off, RX went off too and we're only left with 3 ppl but nvr the least we still had fun..
we went TM, baby bought ice cream for all of us and after that went walk walk..
baby cannot take it any longer as her legs hurt..
but teha darling was high from seeing bags she likes..
went to meet baby's boyfren and went to lepak...
slack slack slack till 5+ then went to mac and take water..
baby took for me as well..
after that took bus 39 and at 201 baby, darling and baby's boyfren went down..
i continued the ride alone and there was this malay guy who came up and he was so freaking cute la sey!!
he's from the singapore airlines??
he looks like he's in his late 20's but nvr the least i was attracted to him and couldn't take my eyes off him..
but soon after i had to cos i had to alight..
awwwwwwww i so wish to get to see him again!!

ithankgodthateverythingisbacktonormal
andicansaythatisuperuperlovethemlots!!
invrwannaletgoofthemagain..
ifanything'swrongiwannatalkthingsoutwiththem.
cosicannottakeitwhentheygimmethecoldshoulder..

There has always been something i wanna say to u but yet i dun have the guts to..
When the Guilt kicks in and I start to see,
I told myself I wouldn't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence stays
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
And this can't be the end..
When i was talking to my fren bout u last night, all the sweet things that u've done, i really do miss u..
At times i really felt like text-ing u but yet, i didn't dare to..
I dont wanna hurt u again..
Cus i noe u have alr moved on..
Its me who can't get over the past..
But SO WHAT??
It was me who brought this upon myself..
I have no one to blame for all that has happened..
I just wanna let u noe that i have good times with u..
But when we're out we nvr really had time alone..
I feel sad bout that cos i wanted some time alone with u..
But yet ur frens are god damn important so i dun really have a say bout that..
Boy i really miss u and i need u in my life..
But if we're really together, there'll be so many things we need to overcome and so many things we needa face..
so many obstacles...
I'm sorry My BOO..
BET i'm the biggest loser who can't overcome myself...

God i really hope that u can help me..
cos i think i'm loving him..
and i think i've fallen for him again..
he's so sweet and he isnt like the others..
others always think that the bed is the most IMPT but not him..
he goes for the heart and not the body thats what makes me so into him..
he aint the same lord..
help me..
help me pls........
i beg of u to help me lord.....
amin..

Time sure flies past like areoplane i can say!!
its been 5 months since i've been in that moronic school..
and i'm like having my exams soon!!
oh god so soon and i've yet to study a single thing!!
sot!!
i still dont have OSA, OFC and CRN all that in my brain yet!!
so dead can!!!
anyways woke up and got ready for school but texted my huney before leaving..e
she told me she wont be going to school todae so i was like oh okay..
and it spoilt my mood huge time..
i didn't wanna go as well..
so stayed home and kept exchanging msg-es with her..
and so she told me my beautiful's were not in school as well..
called stefe, she was sleeping so she called me back when she got up..
met her at 191, bought sticks and than chilled under the void deck..
came over to my place, watched a horror movie online and i was the joke of the day..
she said i can be director alr but then watch half way i screamed!!
5+ she went home so i escort her down..=)
tmr i gotta be in that shitty sch no matter what happens
even if it rains cats and dogs or or wadever the shit is, i still gotta be there..
its my bad habit to skip tue and wed and i gotta change that!!!

thinking back, i feel like a dumb ass!!
it was my bad again..
i should have nvr talked bout it..
told her i can never have best friends in my life but she didnt believe..
and thats why it happened today...
feeling so down yet helpless...
i'm sorry if i said the wrong thing at the wrong time..
he used to say i'm hard to miss but yet u guys missed me..
i really dun wanna let go of all of u cos i love each and everyone of u..
but if things continue to get colder, then i'll just say that i once had a good time with u all..
and i've nvr regretted having u ppl in my life!!
i'll continue to love all of u with my heart..
i hope and pray that things get better..

BOAFF I STILL LOVE ALL OF U!!!
EERAH, FATHEHA, DYBA, SHASHA, SATINA I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF U LIKE CRAZY!!
AND I MISS ALL OF U LIKE A CHILD MISSES THEIR BLANKETS..

i'm afraid i went back to square one..
i didnt go to sch todae as i woke up at 10..
sch end at 12 and so if i were to go, i will be only in sch for half an hour and then back at home...
stefe called so i return her call..
played online game all the way till sister woke up..
watch tv till 8pm then she went to shower and went 443..
thought i saw CA cos he looked like a doctor..
and a doctor i know..
my family doctor used to be..
went to buy dinner and than went home to watch tv and ate at the same time..
om ma came back and everything was fine till she found out i didn't go to sch..
she started nagging like a retard!!!
fucking angry sey..
very irritating!!
hate CA!!
hate CAT LIM!!
hate it hate it just hate it all big time!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK IT LARHZ!!
NBCB!!
i have no brains can!!
i aint cut out for studying..
i hate to study!!
got a problem with it!!!!

TOODLES!!
XOXO

yesterday went to church, after church left first so headed back to white sands and had lunch before going seperate ways with stefe..
today, went sch late but lucky got winnie the pooh call me wake up..
walked to MRT station with her and took train with her.
from simei MRT walked to sch's far end bus 2 bus-stop to find stefe..
walked to sch with her..
went class late, took test, teacher said i smoke and made me off my music..
after class, stayed back, hand in project, bloody fucking teacher said i didn't do good, got fedup and argued for my rights, she kept quiet for awhile and said i looked photogenic, -40%, i said waste of time, got nagged at, went off..
something bad happened but i dont wanna talk bout it anymore..
guess i'm at big fault for not being spot on and throwing my temper..
went out of class and thought i was gonna be all alone for the nxt 3 hrs..
felt angry and all so i almost burst out in tears..
went down, god's grace, saw classmate, thought i was gonna spent the long hrs in sch in the end CL called back so went east point with her..
went for lunch, after that went walk walk around, CL wanted to do nails so went to get it done and she's so sweet!!
omg after that, cabbed back to sch cos i was late for OFC and she was late for meeting her fren..
went class, took paper, sat down and did my minutes writing..
HW and SH was so sweet!!
they helped me as i went along..
HW went crazy cos she wanted to go back so badly..
after sch, went back with satina(she looks fucking cute with those curls)
while waiting for bus saw lizard, she didn't wanna stay home, thought of going straight but she said go back change 1st..
went home, showered, prepared and walked over to find her..
went WS, went arcade, watched her play, went dinner then went shopping..
omg while she was at the arcade dancing, a guy pushed her his number and he's rather thick skin luhs!!
liza i had a good time with u todae!!
i enjoyed myself though it was just watching u dance..
more meet-ups aite..

idontnoehowtofaceupplanymorecositseemslikeuguysdetestme..
thankstoherluhs!!
she'stheoneihatecosshestoleupplawayfromme!!!!!!!!
idoubti'llbeatthebbquguysorganized..
itssoawkward..

i'm done!!
TOODLES!!
XOXO BRENDA!!!

well today can say is my first time taking bus to sch alone..
bus was fucking pack but pulled through and walked out alive..
while i was crossing the road, i was wondering if that mr right(masalei) will come into my life, grab my hand and cross that fucking dangerous big road with me..
well i think i was just thinking too very much..
i had to wake up my idea and braved through crossing that road alone..
anyways sch was okay okay..
ups and down i can say..
got to sch, thought i was late end up the fucking class only got 2 ppl..
teacher and another classmate of mine..
settled down, talked to CRN teacher, after that slacked for CRN and headed for OFC..
attitude teacher gave me fucked up attitude and stuff, took retest and again my pretty classmate huiwen helped me with mins writing..
handed up, sat there copy notes, huiwen came up to me and started crying..
i was writing so she sat there and cried on my back..
finished stupid writing, asked her wad was wrong but she jus didn't wanna say..
But huiwen, wadever it is jus tell me kaes..
cos i'll be there to listen i promise..
skipped the last lesson which is CRN and went to cafe 1..
and saw hanz there..
stefe went poly clinic and after which bused to sch to meet me..
went off to meet her and bused back..
went seperate ways as she went to put her stuff back at home and i went to 191..
met up at central after that and had lunch..
after lunch while walking back, felt lazy so went to rest under void deck and walked over to my place bout 3..
watched 2 movies online, felt sleepy while watching the first one and thought i could catch a small nap but stefe was like super hyper and kept talking to me so i had to entertain her by talking back to her and stuff..
had to try my best to force open my eyes..(laughs)
after that, got up and showered and continued watching..
time flewed and after that went to the minimart to get some stuff and she scared me twice and time and time again i fell for the god damn trap..
at 10pm, stefe left and i sent her down, smoked and came up..
toodles to all!!
and i hate it when my ladies and i don't get to hang out after school together!!!
but i still love them to death!!

woke up late but still went to sch..

cabbed down, and went to MLC..

did my SBM reflections..

hahhahs but then i actually took and edit it from tina huney..

hahhahs..

after MLC, went for lunch, and decided to skip OSA so went to changi beach..

two bus 2 passed and they were double deck but eerah baby's boyfren was coming along and so we waited for him...

she was cute..

she actually shouted at her boyfren over the phone..

but well honey u all got good boyfren so cherish them to the last bit..

had a go0d time with my playmates and took alot of nice pics i can say..

while waiting for the bus we took pictures, and at the beach we took more..

someone spoiled the whole fun cos she didn't wanna be part of us..

she just stood there with earpiece stuffed in her ear and just sumhow i could say dragged her feet and followed..

PRESENTING TO U ARE MY ONE AND ONLY:

my dybaaaaaa!!she would always say stop making me laugh cos i wanna pee..

my fatheha..her smiles are so cute and she laughs alot..i bet she keeps alot of sadness within

my shaB who adores her boyfren like crazy..she's cute i know..she seldom smile for the cam..

my crazy girl eerah with her big boobs..i simply love her cos she's cute..

and that little girl i adore is my tina sayang..

look baby ur boobs are so gonna kill her look at how frightened she is..

these were taken at changi:

they were so busy sending pics they took here and there but all i could do was take more pics cos my phone didn't allow me to use the god damn function called BLUETOOTH..its so IMPT yet i dun have it!!like wtf can!!

And super pls don't forget bout the fucking nice scenery i took!!

okay overall, went to sch but didn't attend class..

and hate stupid CA cos he called my IBU!!!

wad the hell!!

okay its like time for me to call and fucking blacklist my god damn card cos the card brother gave me left with not much cash alr..

its like bus-ed to changi, then bus-ed back to sch area then walked all the way to the MRT sation then train-ed back to pasir ris and from there, bus-ed back home..

omg so many fucking bus taken in jus one day..

its so not like me..

anyways thanks playmates for the fun i had today and thank u sayang for like waiting for my train..

she's so cute..i told her my train was here but she didn't believe..

and insisted on waiting and end up she missed 2 trains..

hahahhahs and when my train came, i didn't wanna board the train cos i wanted to wait for her's to come..

but in the end, she's forced me into the train that's so cute!!

anyways thanks sayang!!

that's all gotta go find cozy spot and tuck myself in bed!!

nite nites all!!

toodles to the next post!!

have been skipping my daily post..
but i ain't in no mood for blogging..
havent been in sch for 2 days alr but i got reasons la..
anyways woke up and got a msg at 12+..
someone framed me up and i don't wish to talk bout it anymore..
just don't ask why..
well having very bad pounding headache..
and headache=no mood
think i'm facing some depression problems again..
this shall be all and i'm done here..
so tatas to everyone and take care my fellow mates..
i'll see everyone in no time..
XOXO!!!!!!!

bringing back yesterday..
stayed home on sunday till night den went giant..
almost pick fight with a bloody chinese auntie..
thank god my mum's not like that..
tummy got super upset so i didn't blog..
went to bed think i could slp but ended up had a very bad time cos flashbacks took place..
waited for sister to come back and during that period of time, something spooky happened..
don't wanna talk bout it anymore hoping i won't recall that incident anymore..
carried on, after sister came back i had a goodnight slp.
and today woke up at bout 1+, texed stefe and asked if she was gonna meet her bf..
she said she was and stuff and i went to open can mushroom and watched suria and cried like a mad girl even though there was no subtitle..
feeling damn happy cos i understood the whole show..
after that, watched a indian film and it was okay okay..
watched half way, went to mop floor than stefe called and complained bout how idiotic her boyfren was and stuff..
and told me she was stuck cos the shop wasn't opened and how much she needed to pee..
so i asked her to come over to my place..
showered, chilled awhile and off we went to 443 for dinner..
before that went to buy ciggarette at the minimart and suprisingly i could buy..=)
after dinner went to slack under void-deck then everytime before going home we would start laughing..
walked home, settled down, went into the room and used com..
omg saw damn nice panties online and i really wanna get them!!!!!
shall talk to mummy bout it..
anyways honey bun not gonna go sch tmr and that makes me feel so tempted to skip too..
shall think bout that after i wake up tmr...
for now i'll be sleeping soon..
HAPPY VESAK DAY TO ALL!!
AND I MISS MY LADIES TO THE MAX!!

TOODLES!

Friday night wasn't as boring as always..

cos i had my winnie the pooh over at my hse..

before that went to meet them at 444 then went to chill..

tien came along and we chilled awile more before leavin..

sat morning, stefe called me like enless time..

literally bombing my phone..

then called her back and after that went to prepare before meeting her..

than when she reached, she bombed my phone again..

went downtown as i craved for subway so very badly..

after eating, went BK cos stefe didn't wanna eat subway..

went to chill and called hanz cos thought can slack with him...

end up he was admitted so stefe and i went to visit him..

even got a get well soon card for him..

but when we got there, it was flooded with his frens..

stayed for awhile and bused back to meet pasir ris and thought of IKEA so went there..

walked around, played ard and took pics..

During downtown:

On the way to IKEA:

OMG and at IKEA we had so much fun and laughter..

so much that we didn't wanna leave:

Last but not least the aftermath of IKEA:

Toodles and goodnight all!!!

loves brenda=)

god damn~!!!
sch was a drag..
haven't been in serious mood of hyper-ness for sch yet..
kinda feel really lagging behind cos exams are around the corner in like 2 more weeks or lesser and i have yet to even open my books and most of my books are skattered around..
its like some with fren A the other with fren B and stuff like that..
and the best thing is i even ended up havin books with my teacher..
how cool and awfully ashamed can i be!!!
anyways with my puffy eyes, i woke up and got ready for sch..
cabbed to sch as i was real late..
and i officially started using my I-PHONE alr..
and i realise how much all my past were with my pink phone..
and i wanna transfer those pics..
thinking back i still sumhow can't let go of u but i gotta try cos i won't have any ending with u seriously..
anyways went to class and everything alone suck big time i swear..
den i sat there like a stupid zoombie..
till my beauty's came and they perk everything up a little here and there..
and one of my fren was sad and tearie..
but shaB wadever the case is just cheer up okay cos there's sure a way out and a solution for everything..
if u can't think of any, we'll help u..
the thing is don't keep it t0 yourself..
gotta say it out then will u feel better k..
during class, CA had to go down to his staffroom to take my book for me cos i didn't wanna go..
how sweet rite..
after that jean helped me with my MINUTES writing cos i was slow..
another how sweet rite..
after that was suppose to do survey but then end up, i locked my whole pass thingy...
so CA said he will personally help me with the pass..
den got home, talked to sister B and fell asleep..
slept from like 1+ or 2 all the way till like 5+..
such a pig i noe.
but it was to recover my 8 hrs of slp..
well that shall be all..
last but not least!!
CA thanks for always being there for me and bringing me back to school and thanks for always being so sweet to me..
and thanks for the so many other things..
people hate u but i love my CA!!!!
jean thanks for helping me with my MINUTES writing cos i was so slow..
thanks for being so sweet!!

to eerah, fatheha and dyba, but the biggest thank you for the day goes to eerah my baby love, thanks for waiting for my bus with me..

and to tina, i'm sry u had to make ur way out on ur own..

but i still love u..

to alll my loves!!

i seriously will miss u guys like a child misses their blankets and love u all like my baby blanket!!

it may be the second post but i don't care i can't take it anymore and i just don't wanna be a cry baby..
but to those who knows the feeling of wanting to cry so badly, its like somethings stuck in your throat..
i really don't understand at all why isit that all these has to happen to me..
i had nvr asked for alot have i??
all i wanted was for a happy family but i just can't get such a simple thing..
it seems like i'm the pempered and everythings fine but everythings just not fine at all..
i just feel that everything is so wrong..
no one really cares for me..
since young, mummy B will be working and daddy C doesn't like me..
and when i have no more daddy C in my life, mummy B works even harder and since, i went to the childcare..
primary sch came and went secondary came and still everyday when i went home, i'd be left all alone in the cold empty house..
i hardly get a chance to see mummy B at times..
cos when she was out, i was alr sleeping.
i hardly get chance to speak to mummy B don't even say eat dinner with her..
in my whole life, i have nvr sat down and eat a proper meal with mummy B more than 10 times..
and now, it seems like its so hard to communicate..
when we see each other we talk less than 10 mins we would end up shouting, quarreling and banging things..
it seems like many people have family problems and some even think i'm the best cos i don't have to go through this kinda things but no one knows..
i have nvr talked bout this kinda things to any of my friends before..
i tell no one how lonely i am..
how desperate i want a cozy sweet family..
no matter how nice the house may be, at times i don't even feel like going back..
so at times i had to try all ways to be happy and play mischievious in sch..
sometimes only with my friend then do i feel nothing..
but once i reached home, i had to find ways to numb my pain..
i'm really tired but no matter how i tried running away and hiding i still have to come back to where things were..
sometimes i feel like runnin but i have no where to go..
and thats why i want someone who can hold my hand and tell me how everything was gonna be alrite and kiss my pain and wipe my tears away..
till today mummy B still doesn't know who i really am..
sometimes i feel like telling her what i was going through but i can't..
i smoke not cos its cool..
its cos i feel so shattered and don't know whats there for me in life anymore..
i cover up for the way i feel and just numb my brain hoping someday it will go away but it got worst..
i hate no one but myself..
i need god's help cos only he know what i'm going through all these years..
i've always been thrown around walked on and everything..
till today after daddy C is dead for more than a decade, i still don't understand alot of things..
i tried to recall the good old days but all i can remember when i close my eyes, i just wanna scream and want so badly to open my eyes again..
i'll cry when i think bout the past..
my childhood suck big time..
till now..
i'm at such a lost..
such a loser..
such a lost child..
i admier those with daddy..
i nvr knew what was fathers day..
nvr knew what was fathers love..
nvr knew when was fathers day..
i recalled one year during my primary sch days, my teacher asked to draw or write something for daddy's day..
but i sat there at a lost..
fearing how my friend will laugh gossip and point fingers at me..
i used to cry myself to bed everynight but slowly i got used to it..
and i cry like burst waterballons and spoiled water taps everytime i think or talk bout this kinda things..
its a nighmare i swear!!

today sch was okay okay..

was late for sch but managed to go up to class with my honey bunny..

then my CA was fucking cute and scary at the same time..

he went like brenda come here my sweetheart..

i was stunt for a moment..

sot..

then ask me copy things i complained..

then he said i was pempered..

hahahhas..

then went lunch, someone not happy again..

and almost cried summore..

that scared me more..

then went osa and the bloody cat got shouted by our class of OE cos of her dumb dumbness..

hahahhas dun wanna talk bout it anymore..

after sch, met stefe and went home with her..

some stupid ppl started shouting from the van and we got super pissed and shouted back the same thing..

hahhahs great mice thinks alike ar..

why say u miss me and still love me and stuff when u alr wanna get to know someone else..

why has it gotta be me???????

omg and its a small small world can..

we got the same ex..

eerah i'll always rmb that..

hahhahhas thanks for telling me everything..

baby u stupid goondo ar..

i will not wanna fall out with her jus cos of u for sure..

toodles my fellow mates!!!!

love all my ladies and my CA for helping me so badly to get back to sch..

thankew mummy for ur full rother B for helping me get things settled!!

i love all my loves!!!!!!

вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥
lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover.

ηυяѕуαιяαн αzмαη♥

Brina!♥
Eerah!♥
Iqah!♥
Jellybean!♥
Joanne!♥
Lisa!♥
OE blog
Sharon!♥
Fiona
Nadia♥
Naim♥

January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010