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And so it goes..
well its been so so long since i last blogged... i don't even noe whats happening to me anymore.. i used to blog everydae.. but things changed for me.. i'm no longer who i used to be i admit.. i even got myself to the worst of state.. i've broughtt myself all the way down.. to the bottom line.. i've nvr been like this.. nvr been so depressed.. things really changed.. now i no longer see any hope for myself.. now i've also learned that when u tell a lie, u need another lie to cover up for the first... maybe i've grown up.. maybe not.. i dun really understand myself anymore.. all i noe is infront of anyone, i needa stand strong and smile.. but deep down, i'm drowned in my very own blood , tears and smile.. looking real back, what have i done to make one smile??? i've broought so much pain into ppl's life.. i'm really sorry.. i really didn't mean for these things to happen at all.. but it just took place.. there's nothing left for me to do.. cough mixture has been placed next to me everynight i sleep.. smoking has also been a part of me.. i just wanna see u for the last time but i can't i really need a time machine.. when i think of u, i sink in my own tears.. god if u are for real why did u still bring so much sorrows into my life.. why do i not have the little perfect family since young.. everyone has a daddy but i don't.. i envy them... but i've only got my mummy acting as both mother and father.. every single day i see her getting more and more white hair.. and i see her being so stressed but go no one to turn too.. i hate to see her in this state.. god will i be that one u picked to lead all those sheeps??? only u noe my life ahead.. u noe what will happen next i don't.. someone help me.. and aku chinta tuhan... from the bottom of my heart.. will u be back into my life?? i just don't wanna make another mistake.. can u be my fren as well.. i don't wanna give up any of u... i keep thinking everyday and everynite of what have i done.. i start missing everything and everyone i once used to have.. i browsed through my phonebook but i couldn't find anyone to turn too.. then when i was in need, everyone died on me.. leaving me there to fend for myself.. pls return.. resting without peace.. brenda |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
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