i'll keep fireflies in a jar.

well i hate it at work but then i gotta tong cos i alr tender to resign..
holding on is the only key word left for me..
for that little bit of money i gotta bring down everything including my pride..
bt then i told myself everything else can go swimming under water but my pride under water??
its a huge nono...
so i worked ytd..
and as a part timer, they put me full shift..
thats like so WTF!!!
and the best thing is sunday when everyone can get out of bed late and some to church, i was at parkway working...
but i didn't say anything i just got out of bed and down to work..
stood the whole day and my legs hurt like hell!!!!
then when i got home i was really dead beat so i didn't turn up for work todae..
i didn't realise till i got home and remove my pants last night that i took home the office key...
and i only took the showcase and display key la!!
tell me that u can use those keys to open the door..
and when i knock off, u asked me to leave first..
then u locked the door..
and pls bear in mind that i'm just a junior so i cannot be the one holding the door keys and besides i'm working at orchard todae..
so its damn no link la...
called my fone then my house fone bt then no matter how u bomb or give stupid excuses i won't be bothered and won't pick up the fone so dun cha worry..
i didn't wanna do this but since this is what u do to me den dun blame me for being like this...
i also noe is my boss call one..
den he cannot reach me then he call u to call me..
anyways when i was working halfway ytd, 3 weird ppl msged me and asked me stupid things..
sot sia..
anyways chaos shall blog again soon..
anyways happy advance birthdae to u..
i couldn't help but keep thinking of u last nite and the dae before cos it was ur birthdae
i kept telling everyone close to me that it was ur bdae..
somehow miss u again..
haiz..
just take care loads ya everyone out there..

okie dokies todae i woke up at 10..
then i decided to skip work cos i was working with that bitch..
and she was such a huge turn off to me..
then i was out at central on my way to poly clinic to get my MC..
den cos i alr msg my boss..
but after awhile he called me and ask me to go down to the shop cos he couldn't get any replacement..
then so i went back home without seeing a doctor and rushed down to work after i got home to change..
then on my way there, i cursed and sweared..
cos i was too irritated..
as if i stay very near orchard liddat..
anyways i went down then i offered to buy lunch for her but then she didn't want to..
she said she ate alr so i gave it a miss..
then she suddenly became damn nice to me..
i think she knew why i didn't go to work..
but wadever...
then i worked all the way till 4 then i left cos the gal came to replace me..
went back to pasir ris then went to dayspring to see doctor for the MC..
after that i went to buy food home...
and after buying food, i felt damn lazy to walk home so i cabbed back..
and when i was working last nite, work half way go buy pad..
hahahsh
then todae same thing..
work work work then rushed to watsons just infront of my shop to get a pack of pad again cos damn heavy and painful la!!!!!!!!!!!
anyways i some how got over everything already..
well misses are still staying right up in my head but there's nothing i can do..
i tried making the first move but nothing much happened so i shall quit trying..
right now i wanna get my pay and go get the things i want done..
alrites so much for now..
chaoz..

alrites this shall be a long long nvr ending post cos its been a veri long time since i last posted..
i felt that nvr one day i work with that mother f**ker i nvr cry one..
then i wanted to ask her if on the second day of work she alr knows where to put and take everything..
but then i didn't ask cos 1st of all i gave her face the other thing is that i'm still new so if i offended her, the rest of my time working with her will be hell..
on the first day of work, i cried in the MRT station..
then on the second day of work, i cried in the shop..
i felt like a baby but i couldn't help it cos she's just trying to kick me ard...
then when i couldn't stand it, i sent my boss a msg of tender...
then he called me straight away..
he asked me wad happened and i told him nothing..
cos i didn't wanna hurt anayone..
so much bout that bitch..
anyways..
i was late for work on the thursday as well as friday..
worked with boss's brother from afternoon till closing cos boss was sick so went off to see doctor..
boss brother made me laugh the minute he came into the shop..
cos both real blood bro, but one damn tall one damn short..
hahahhas his brother also like fuck..
i serve custumer then he come to me and say nvm nvm i serve u go do other things lor..
then another one come in he say same thing to me..
bloody sucker..
then when close shop, i told him i cannot reach then he told me nvm lor i help u..
then the first thing that came to my mind was u're shorter then me but u still dare say u wan help me.....
sot sial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahhahahahhahahs.....
then days went on and on till sundae..
i went to church with my fren then during service i kept laughing..
hahahhahas
then fast forward..
i went back veri late at nite..
then todae, work again..
work up late so couldn't catch the bus.
so i slept all the way till 10+..
after which i got up showered and was late alr..
so i cabbed down..
bt then i was still late for work in the end..
tmr is another dae of work but i really feel like skipping cos i'll be working with that bitch!!!!!
and is work with her alone summore..
BTH sia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nothing much...
so i shall logout now..
catch up soon!!!!!!
chaoz

went back to sch on thursday but nothing much happen..
thought i was late as i left home at 04pm..
so i rushed down by cab..
but ended up waiting till 05pm before the ceremony started...
thought i would cry but ended up i didn't..
in the hall, i thought there would only be my class but then ended up is 4 express, and 5 normal together with my class..
went up to the stage to collect my certificate...
then my hands turn cold and my heart beated damn fast..
after everything ended, we went to have our dinner..
and after dinner, we bid farewell to our teacher's, snapped pictures and gave our teacher our warmest hug before leaving...
upon leaving the sch in the nite, my heart kinda sank cos i knew i was gonna miss everything..
when i walked out, i recalled times when i rushed to sch and went in late...
then as i walked i said this is the last time i'll be walking this same path to sch..

And as for todae, this is what happened..
today is the first day of my torture..
bloddy hell i swear i hate all those girls by the name of GERALDINE man...
i kena tekan by her till siao siao...
cos her english not good then i go serve then she not happy so she made my do shitty stuff..
FUCK OFF LA...
U'RE JUST JEALOUS COS UR ENG NOT AS STRONG AS MINE...
I UNDERSTAND..
NVM I WILL PITY U ONE SO DUN U WORRY..
had many thoughts of leaving and giving up..
but then everything is not easy in the starting so i think i will hold on..
cos things will get better slowly..
then when it was time to leave, i walked alone to the MRT station...
went to kallang to wait for joanne as she wanted to meet me there..
waited for her for very long..
so i stood there day dreaming..
as i day dream, my eyes gathered tears like stormy clouds did...
i wondered why this kinda things was happening to me..
then i wipe away my tears and continued waiting..
and so as i waited, i msged...
then she finally arrived..
i went up to her then gave her a hug..
then i started pouring like when clouds couldn't hold it anymore..
i couldn't help it cos my tears gathered together like pregnant clouds...
after that, when we were in the train heading back to pasir ris, i told her everything and i felt much better..
we went to 444 and slacked with tong tong till 01+..
then walked back home as both of is were really shag..
got home, showered, then cooked maggie noodles as i'm really hungry like baby lions haven't eaten for years..
graved for tom yam for very long..
so i felt damn happy after having them...
last but not least, GERALDINE jusst u watch out lor..
i swear i wanna be my own boss one day..
and when u're out of job 20 years down the road, i sure hire u one dun worry..
i sure tekan u back super jialat jialat one..
U WATCH IT MAN CB!!!
KNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HATRED WILL LIVE FOREVER IN MY HEART TOWARDS U!!!!!

thought i could like finally stay home todae bt then cannot..
it sounds so bo bian la hahhahs..
anyways i went over to TM..
went courts then settle things alr, cabbed down to aljunied MRT station..
waited for sher's then took a cab and headed over to my da gu's house..
when i was in the cab, the auntie thought i was a malay...
then i tarted to speak chinese with her..
then went i reached, i was damn dulan..
she knew it so she actually smiled to me..
l0ls..
then i had a tiff with my mum..
can't stand her sia..
anyways after that i went down to parkway...
then ate at KFC cos long john too many ppl..
after that i went to hunt for black tee..
after that we both were damnit shag so we took bus 15 back..
went to my grandma's place then almost quarrel with my auntie..
cos its like i haven't even started then she trashed me down..
damit dulan la todae..
anyways after that we went down to wait for bus then i damn tired so i took a cab instead..
sent her back then went home..
later still going out..
and todae like whole day taking cab la..
so broke can..
well..
tmr is the day..
and i really hope we'll all meet up often and not lose contact...
i think i 99% sure cry one..
cos i'm gonna miss alot of ppl..
we've came so far together as one for this four years so sure got feelings one..
well shall stop crapping and slp early todae..
chaoz first..
shall blog my feelings for tmr..

alrites back to blogging..
its been really all out this few days..
i had been going out like almost everydae..
i went out to my granny's place at macpherson on sunday for some gathering..
then headed down to down-town with breena..
then on monday, i went out with zann and stef...
den after we went out, i went over to parkway and waited for my galfren to end work..
then headed back to pasir ris with her..
then todae, i went out again..
and yes...
think i got it...
well i'll be going out again later cos i dun wanna stay home..
if i knew it was like that i'd rather not be at home..
curse and swear man..
i hate it..
the minute she got back, she nvr stop nagging..
and it goes on and on..
but well..
i dun wanna say anything cos i am in no mood to quarrel with her as well..
its like just so whatever la!!!!!!
i hate this shit..
seriously..
and now i understand why she doesn't like to stay home..
if she goes on like that i dun noe what will happen to all of us..
anyways will be going out this whole week i guess..
but i'm really washed out so i shall be staying home for tmr...
chaoz

its been like that since the dae i did something wrong..
said that i can't make it right but i'll continue to try..
i really hope that u'll forgive me but then guess for that i won't ever be forgiven..
then if thats really the case, tell me and i'll tell u that i'm sry for disturbing u..
and i'm really sorry for everything...
perhaps i was the one who made u like this and changed ur life for the next few years...
as i woke up, i realised things came to an end..
and things for me totally changed..
all i can do now is walk towards it..
todae while i was sitting in front of the com, i was suprised cos he came and talk to me..
its something i thought will nvr happen..
i really am brginning to miss him hell lots..
cos i was just talking bout him ytd..
and i realised how foolish i was...
the way i am is still not good enough so i'll keep changing till i've finally found who i am..
anyways i went out ytd to get clothes with my cousin..
and we went out damit easy all thanks to her..
we went TM, then from there we went over to parkway...
then she got the clothes she wanted from there..
we went to find her as she was working there..
then we went to have lunch together at ard 04+ 05..
then after lunch, we went back to parkway and i went ard looking for wad i felt was right...
then in the end, got nothing..
then around 06+ we left and headed back home..
reached around 07+ and went back home at only 11+ going 12 i think..
thats all for now so take care and i'm really really ultra sry to the one i have hurt...
still waiting for the dady to come..

had my last paper taken in GREENVIEW hall this morning..
there still lives the kinda memory i had with u guys..
i will sure miss u ppl alot..
things i went through with the class of 4TD made me learn and grow..
i will be back in sch on the thursday for my graduation...
and after thursday, everything that we do, will nvr concern this school ever again...
i always wanted to leave greenview very badly..
and have been skipping school alot since sec one..
i was even made to write a report..
well after this 4 years, i can say i tried almost everything a student should..
times in GREENVIEW were still the best i guess.
although there were alot of arguements, quarrels, ups and downs but i still gotta say thumbs up for letting me grow up...
i noe i've done wrong this time..
would u forgive me once again??
i knew i was childish..
but i don't noe why i miss u so much..
guess with u, i've spend good and bad times..
and now i noe i'd rather spend bad times with u then good times with someone else..
i will definitely miss u like shit...
but guess i've gotta learn to let go of u cos i will nvr get the chance to talk to u ever again..
take care where ever u are or in whatever u do..

8 more days to pure freedom and no more war and hatred all gone..
sry to those i've hurt...
if u're reading my post i hope for ur forgiveness..
i kinda miss those times we spent together..
its our promise to hang out together after N's are over..
but guess it'll stay only in my dreams...
looked out of the window and i saw an angel standing on the clouds...
went to get my fone to snap that pretty angel but it was gone...
tmr is my last paper...
and i'll step back into the school only on the 11'th of october...
i wanna let my soul wonder...
but i can't help but think of u...
from green it turns red...
now i don't noe when it'll all end...
wishing time really stops there for me to clear all my doubts..
but its all just too late..
i cannot change things anymore..
i just gotta carry on as the days pass me day by day..
i hope for my fone to ring..
i really wanna hear ur voice again..
but guess u're nvr gonna return to me..
baby i'll just stand from afar looking at u..
everything seems almost impossible..
i'll still hang on there waiting for one day that will finally bring me happiness..
i've done all that i can so now waiting is all i can do..
i've soaked my pillows wet crying..
but i guess its time to stop cos its no point crying over spilt milk...

aku tak faham...
i tau i chita kamu...
i nak u tau i suke u..
tapi u are the one running away from reality..
i saw u todae while holding on to my textbook..
i thought who walked pass me at first..
then she actually gave me those kinda cheeky smile then i knew it was u alr..
science was kinda difficult but i think i can walk out of it with BG's help..
tmr's gonna be maths..
and i ain't gonna study for it cos i noe i am gonna fail it so why waste time killing my brain cells..
tahahhas..
gonna study for my CPA instead..
well its been days, and weeks..
but i think i'm still so not over the nightmare i've been through..
i've been walking through it all alone..
when will u send someone to walk this with me??
i don't wanna end up finishing this by my own...
i saw my sweetie todae while studying for science paper 3..
he came and sat next to me..
he made me laugh hard cos when he pull up his pants, i saw his socks..
and it was fucking high..
so long ler..
hahahs
then he said something like the longer ur socks means dunno wad i fergot alr..
cos i was too busy laughing..
he sure did make my day a better one..
well..
told cha i was gonna wait so don't make me wait too long ya..
alritez anyways till ytd then did i noe that when ppl call me that time the music so kuku..
hahhas it was super sentimental..
didn't noe till joanne told me..
she said she thought she call wrong number..
she said she thought she called a auntie..
l0lz..
so i changed my tone..
l0l okie dokies so much fer now..
not forgetting always loving my BA, C , K, M, B, J, G..
hahhash put it short i love all my BA - Z..

it 01 am right now and i can't get to sleep..
i am really afraid of tmr's paper..
as its maths..
and i noe i am gonna fail it for sure...
i am still so not ready but everything is coming my way...
i managed to find my entry proof..
but i lost my testimonial in class..
i wonder which MOFO took it...
but whoever it is, i just think u're really lame and foolish to take my paper as ur's cos it only means to say that u have no good points bout urself..
i have to rewrite the whole thing due to my carelessness..
i'm quite into one of my fren's other fren blog..
cos i find it kinda meaningful...
i wish i could help him but i dun even noe him..
i thought of tagging along but then i am in no position to do so..
so i backed off...
i really wanna be who i wanna be..
so i'm working towards it now..
being jumbo is who i always hated to be..
but what can i do..
after watching todays show, i realised how much i believe in kamar...
i'll be walking to u one day and show u who i really am...
wait up for me alrights??
i'll catch up with u real soon..
sorry to those i've hurt deeply..
i nvr wanted for things to turn out this way..
forgive the unforgotten...

вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥
lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover.

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