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And so it goes..
went for my last dae of camp todae.. had loads of fun there.. i cried a couple of times as i was realli veri touched.. i tried to understand things ard me.. tried to accept that many a times when we walk on the streets, ppl ard us were not looking at us.. it was just the way we think and feel.. but todae as i walked back, i couldn't be confident enough.. i'm gonna go mad cos when i just got home, my brother's fren were here.. and guess wad?? the best part is that they are gonna be staying over so i gotta go over to my grandma's hse to stay.. WTH!!!!!!!!! crash crash crash!!! i hate this i hate this i hate this!!! fck!!!! and the best part is that i gotta move like almost my whole room there as i still have sch to attend too... i gonnna ki siao alr... i'm so not readi fer it.. and i gonna be movingg all this on my own.. i gotta bring twinkle there as well.. fck i dun care and i dun give a shyt.. i gonna blust music till i happy 1st then go prepare!!! alritez.. todae my teacher talked to me and once agn i cried... they thinks i'm bothered.. and thinks that i got loads of trouble.. okie dokies shall go get some things done and gotta go soon.. chaoz~!! And so it goes.. i had motivation camp todae.. its super tiring.. but i did enjoy myself alot.. i was not supposed to be late. but i went back to slp agn so i reached at 08.23.. my teacher called me while i was rushing to pack my things.. i learned alot though i dun have confidence in myself... i'm trying to change.. another dae of camp tmr and back to sch.. i got to noe my frenz better and i realised i'm oni left with a month to communicate with them... i gonna miss them too fer sure.. i wish time could just stop here... anyways i had to list down wad i like and dislike bout myself.. but i found it damit hard to list ddown wad i like bout myseelf.. cos i seriously hate myself to the core.. so i had thousand and 1 dislike bbout myself.. alritez.. shall stop here and talk more bout it tmr... chaoz!! And so it goes.. went out todae.. went to marina square as i realli needed to get my things and marina had loads of things i could look fer... she was kinda sick but she still went with me.. realli touched.. okies gonna slp as i gotta go a little earlier to look fer the place tmr.. so chaoz!! And so it goes.. alritez i went out on the fridae nite and reached home on sat morning.. was supppose to go out with my brother gf but they played MJ till 2 in the afternoon.. and she lost quite alot and therefore quarrelled with him.. and she cried.. so as a result, she was super hurt so we didn't go out... she msged me and apologized.. and she said she was gonna make it up todae.. fingers crossed.. hope so cos i realli need everything by tmr.. kaes.. i still don't noe where the conference room is.. so dead.. have gotta wake up early tmr to go find the place.. u are a good fren indeed.. scared i do sth to ur acc izzit?? change fer wad sia?? wad can i do sia.. madness!!! nvm i still wanna thank u anyway... haiz... sot sial.. i'm still stressed.. i dun have an ans to ur Q still.. gimme more time lovely!! poof and off i go And so it goes.. todae sch was hilarious!!! cos i skipped TAF and i was called out during the 2nd recess to go to the hall to be in the push up position.. was in the hall slacking with my 4 other classmates and we crapped ard alot.. we left the hall at 12.30.. and went to grab our bags as 12.35 was the dismissal... walked in the rain till i reached home as there wasn't any cabs in side... so crappy man.. when i dun needa cab, there'll be loads of them bt when i needa cab, no cabs ard.. i was drenched.. and while i was bathing, i was kinda emo cos i cried... and agn sth happened todae.. i dunno how to give an ans cos he's someone so near yet so far.. i dunno who to confide in cos ppl sure will spread this ard.. so i think i should keep it to myself fer now.. chaoz.. maybe going out later in the nite.. And so it goes.. alot of things went through my mind and i browse through my list of post i posted.. i realised i got lots of post that were almost the same i was either missing out from sch other wise i'm emo... i'm still damit childish... i believe in fairy tales... alrite so i alr said i knew i was emo... had better stop skipping sch.. i seriously am in trouble cos i'm missing out alot!!! and ppl who don't go to sch have been back alr.. so why me now.. better get my asss back there otherwise i'm so dead!!! i tried looking on the brighter side of the life but then i still can't... god i alone can do nothing.. i need ur help... pls lend me a helping hand... i'm sry fer everything that i did... mummy, and everyone i'm sry fer the wrong i made.. i'm sry fer being so valguar.. i'm sry fer not being me... i'm realli sorry!!! DUI BU QI!!~ And so it goes.. okay i admit i'm not in sch again todae.. but then i woke up late thats why... why do they havee to start sch so early??? i hate to say this too bt then fcktard man... they close the damn gate earlier and earlier!!! to hell with greenview man!!!! GREENVIEW SUCKS!!!! okay and they called my mum i think.. cos my mum called my brother.. and my brother woke and and gave me a tongue lashing.. okies i'm left with weeks in this bloody sch so why step back now?? fight this battle and win it sumhow??? yuppis i'll do just that.. i'm sry korkor!!! i didn't mean to bring more problems to ur load of stress... i'll do as u say... i'll reach sch by 7 everydae... i'll go early and come back late can??? SCH SERIOUSLY SUCKS BUT I DUN HAVE A CHOICE... ITS MY LAST YEAR I'LL GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT!!!!!! SWEAR TO GOD I'LL MAKE THINGS RITE FROM TODAE... And so it goes.. My Little Yes I Do!!~ i admit i'm emo yes i am!!! i'm in love with u yes i am!! i'm still missing u yes i am.. i'm waiting fer u yes i am.. i'm longing fer u yes i am... i seriously am questioning myself.. doing some soul searching... flash backs are all i get from thinking of u... i'll wait till u fergive me.. if u fergive me, then i'll be back.. had been emoing in the room todae... from wall to wall my fingers scribbled ur name... u're the one i'm thinking of.. u realli have been missed!!! come back will u?? i need u here... loads of things went through my mind after reading my mail.. i'm thankful fer having such a good life... the oni thing is that why do i have to be fat??????!!!!!!!! i dun wanna be FAT!!!! its the last thing left on my list....... i just wanna be normal and be loved like every other girl... Left School At 1.10 As I Had To Walk Over To Hai Sing Fer Oral.. went to hai sing for my oral ytd... everything was just screwed up... i didn't noe wad to say... bt then i tried my best and i have no regrets... we waited fer all 7 of us to finish up with the oral before leavin... a stupid sec 1 or 2 boi stared at me when i didn't do anything at all... after we left the sch, we went split ways... I Had A Dream Or Rather A Nitemare!!! i had a dream...or rather a nitemare... i dreamt that i could see ghosts... its a long long story... and i even had numbers bt then the minute i woke up everythin was gone.. seeing things like that may seem super scary at first bt then it gets exciting after that,.. omg its such an experience!!! And so it goes.. had no mood to use the com fer the past few daes.. so as a result, its been a long time since i last blogged... recently i had been sleeping fer veri long hours.. when i say i dunno wads wrong bout this, i'm so wrong ccos i noe wads wrong with me fer sleeping fer so long... i just wanna run away from reality... i dunnoe how to face it so i wanna run away from it.. whenever i wanna login to a game, flashbacks will appear and i'll step aback.. had been staying back in sch till veri late recently as i made new frenz they're seriously loves!!!! i <3 them loads... they're so cute... omg can't wait to spend another dae with them.. however i've also seem to be veri veri quiet at home too.. i'm beginning to hate everything ard me.. i curse and swear!!!!!!! my mood is swinging low agn.. gonna go off fer now.. so chaoz... And so it goes.. i just wanna say a BIG thank you to JOEY!!! she helped me... alot!!!! i was crying and i knew i needed someone... she was studying bt then she chatted with me fer quite sometime.. so after much consideration, i made up my mind to close this chapter of my life and start a new chapter... so i also suggest i take ur name outta my dictionary.. after all u've moved on and i guess i should not hold on as its gonna be meaningless.. i confessed and i regretted it.. i fell fer u i swear to god i did... it took me much courage but everything ended boy... i've got lots to tell u but i ain't gonna say anything cos its alr too late.. i hope u understand... omg it was the 1st time i confessed to a guy... l0lx.. such a joke.. i made a fool outta myself.. joey this was the conversation... brenda: hey i got sth i wanna tell u.. JQ: k say... brenda: i say bt then u gotta get readi 1st.. JQ: ok i'm readi alr.. brenda: ok if i say i like u how?? JQ: err ok i'm not readi fer that question... then i texted him.. brenda: hey boy can gimme a call 1st i just wanna say wad's on my mind. after which i think i won't bother u alr.. then he called.. brenda: eh sry... JQ: bt then why suddenly liddat?? we haven't talk fer so long alr.. brenda: i dare not tell u and i have been thinking fer quite sometime.. JQ: i and her together alr.. u dunno meh?? brenda: izzit..i dunno..we talk before bt then she say she dunno if she like u and she said she was flirting so... JQ: oh.. brenda: ok then...bye then i texed him once agn.. brenda: and that's fer the last time.. i'm sry.. and this is fer the last time too.. do take care. joey thats all i can rmb and he like got no reaction oni lor.. -_-''' well bt then is all i zi zuo duo qing.. haiz like someone got crime sia... anyways dun wanna dwell on anything le he got her and i hope she'll treat him good lorhz.. hope she won't hurt him.. cos she admitted she's a flirt.. chaoz And so it goes.. well i am seriously ill this time.. am not lying.. lolx its not cos i'm lazy to attend sch buy am seriously not well... went to consult a doctor just now... the atm Q was super long as all the uncle and aunties stood there like... err dun wanna call them names.. but realli toot larhz... wanted to go poly btthen thz to the atm dispender, i headed down to white sands... saw a realli cute guy there... hahahhas.. okie dokies i'm realli realli sick.. my teacher is another sick guy... i'm sick and yet he wants me to go back fer oral.. dumb or wad??? no voice how to read sia??? cb... so dumb.. some ppl are just dumb to the last bit!!!!! anyways gotta go get readi and poof!!! off to the dam sch.. And so it goes.. i think my fairy tale should come to an end fer i've fallen deeply in love with my fairy tale and i think its dangerous. cos i gonna get hurt by it... i noe its all a fairy tale but i can't bear to let go.. from time to time i will think but i dare not think too far fer its fragile.. but i noe if i dun learn to let go i'm gonna get hurt.. and that'll end up in depression. i fell fer a total all time perfect guy to me... a nothing more but a role of a playboy... but i've alr fallen into it and there's no turning back.. i dare not let this guy noe i fell fer him... i dun dare imagine how he'll react... haiz... why has so many ppl ard my life change.. but still not mine.. their life's changed to be so perfect but mine sux totally.. its just crappy.. dun wanna think i wanna go rest alr.. And so it goes.. was in sch sweat ytd when i was using the com... felt dam unwell so went off to shower... i almost black out in the bathroom. everything seemed to be spining ard me.. then felt like vomiting.. went straight to bed.. switched on the aircon and hide under my blankie... woke up and went to sch this morning.. was sweating like anything.. then my teacher said my face looked damn pale.. asked me to head back home to rest but i didn't cos i had too many things to catch up with... stayed back in sch fer awhile before heading home.. promised to go to sch tmr as i need to hand in my port folio... i brought zann's port folio back to chan kao as well... hahahahas... alrites i actually scanned 3 pages... cos i was too lazy to copy down... had problems with the printer but solved the prob... i finished everything at 8p.m... used the com fer leisure fer an hour or so.. and poof after this i gonna rest... gotta go slp by 10... hahahahas she said everything was in hand.. l0lx... she's kinda sweet at times.. but dearest auntie, i dun like the way u wanna poke ur nose in every single thing i do... hahahahas okok feeling dam happy todae.. anyways chaoz... And so it goes.. alrite i'm in deep shit.. i skipped sch agn todae... sch's just so boring... she whacked me but here i am agn not in sch.... i promise to be in sch fer the nxt 2~3 months... not gonna skip another dae.. but its just so hard... no one loves me.. and everyone thinks u dun needa fren to survive in sch... but thats just so wrong... whatever the case is, my sch called me up agn todae... i left it there till it was noted as a missed call.. got a tongue lashing from my sister.... she almost irritated the hell outta me but i noe she cared... maybe i got caught by her fer smoking in the t0ilet... so dead yet dun care... wadever the case is, i just hate sch to the core... i can't u turn no more.. i gotta face it... i'm off to my granny's place fer now to get my books... so off i am fer now... tag me if u can't get me ppl... or msg me... bye. |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
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