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And so it goes..
smoking haven't made me drousy.... i think i'm going through depression... i dun feel like eating.... guessed this time i'm in trouble... i fell fer that big time fcker... he sux... i dare nt tell him.. i dun wan another one to disappear.... i'm kinda emo i noe... i smoke till i broke down but it still didn't numb my pain... i'm put through a test... a hugh one... i'm lost yet no one there to show me the way... i'm gonna die soon... wish i could die this instence... can't carry the troubles anymore... i am a girl who has no every rite to talk, make a decision, crap ard, choose and pick the guy i wan and llike... i have to ritez... i wanna be normal..... i can't take it any longer... why no one can tell i'm in pain i got alot of things that no one will ever noe and no one will bother cos to them my prob ain't a prob at all.. if i told u i liked u then u'll ask me to meet u... boy its not that i dun wan to but i have rite to do so.. i said i ain't a normal kid... i can't hang ard and say this guy is cute that guy is simply gorgeous... i noe stand on my feet being relient on no one.. the ground is shaking and gonna break in 2 but i still have no one to grab me.. if u dun wish to make me suffer then just bring me back.. only u noe my fate.. u alone noe the life ahead of me... i dun noe... i'm walking obsticles tt ain't simply to put through.... i am a nobody to this world... its cold out there and i can't make another move... the nxt step i take, i gonna make it wrong.. u noe that.. enough i dun wanna understand a shit at all.. i jus wanna be me is that so difficult?? i'm messed up yes i am... madness lyes in me.. breaking down and having no one there fer me is also just me.. i dun understand myself.. i can't seem to do it rite... help me will u... seeing me suffer here brings joy to u??? i've alr stepped on the hardest rock of no turning back... feel like crying but can't... perhaps i'll try ways to make things happen to me... wheather its in the rite or wrong way since u dun care why should i..i'll not change facts but i'll me fiction happen.. rite before ur eyes i'll change the law written in ur book!!!!!!!!!! brenda dun give a shit.. And so it goes.. why does the guy i really fell fer not abit bothered bout me at all.. where as the one i prayed hard not to appear, appeared.. do u not care at all... i miss u!!!! and after so much that has happened, i blame only one person and that's me, myself and i... when will u be there fer me???? i really need u... i'm missing you to bits... alrites i noe its puppy love again... but as far as i noe u're the 2nd guy i fell fer although u're so in my fairy tale... whenever i close my eyes, i see images of wad had happened... i'm afraid i can't slp well.. i'm so stressed out... and i seriously need pills.. any pills will do... wheather its stress free pills or sleeping pills... its fine with me.. i just needa get out of reality and i'll be fine... i need them so badly... i need u too.. you'll nvr noe how much i'm missing u.. my dae seems so hard to past without u... dun noe why i'm still feeling so complicated... i need help i seriously do... if only any kind souls could bring me out from the darkness i'm feeling deep down.. i'll be gratful... i need a break... in everything and everyone.... why can't anyone try to understand me??? i ain't asking fer alot am i??? still bleeding on the inside and hop fer a soft wool to cuddle me... i'm just like every other gers but i'm more complicated and my case is more unfair.. i dun have the cuddle i always wished of having... i'll stop dreaming... i'll try.. and fer now.. i just dun iwsh to think... i wanna drink away my troubles bt no one wanna drink with me.. i shall look fer a drinking partner real soon... And so it goes.. i once had a thinking i could break my curse fer liking another guy with my heart and soul.. though he wasn't from real.. he seemed so fairy tale... but i still fell fer him... todae i was playing a com game when i felt damn bored... and so i gathered everyone together as well as the one i fell fer... but nvr did i expected things to get outta hands.. my cousin, my brother and the guy i like.. they fought like there wasn't enough fightings.. till now did i realli expected that when guy clash with guys, there will be fire... nothing can stop the fire except fighting as fighting = water... i was thinkin who was i to blame and hate.. but i realised that they were nt caring fer me but more on backside itchy cos so long then got fight... i dun blame my dearest joanne jiejie os she is then the one who realli showered care and she understands me deep down.. the tears i shed fer them, will in the end dry up... hatrade will live as a scare fer the rest of my life... i noe after all this that has happened, i will nvr get to win his beautiful heart again.. once again, i'm stucked in the center.. confused yet stressed out.... in love yet got destroyed... i have the sudden urge fer sleeping cos i am to sad and stressed to think.. take care my pretty boi.. i'll miss u till the dae u talk to me again... And so it goes.. holidaes are a dizaster...... life has been becoming from bad to worse.. dunno when i'll make the wrong move... dunno when i'll nvr be me again... everything seemed to change... her life and my life.. she has became mad so have i... she nags at me everydae... she nags, thats fine bt she vents her anger on me.. wads all this.. if she's not the one who shed so much blood fer me, i would have killed her by now.. i seriously need a time out... there has been cold war and stuff.. she's emo too.. who said old woman can't be emo??? they can... she's a great example.. she fucks my world upside down... when i'm in the mood she makes sure that i'm in a bad mood.. and when i'm in the worst of mood she wants to provoke me even more... she got a prob man... she wanna look fer problem.. thats her prob.. she's mad... omg she's tryin to drive me to IMH soon... dunno wad she's up to... i like to use com my tai ji la she huan lo so much zou mi lan la... na bei i can't stand it cos i ain't in the wrong.. she loves to step on my tail.. but wadever... if i were to say it all out it'll be too complicated to start... so i shall stop my crap.. its too messy to start... so i shall stop.. when she provokes me, i shout back or quarrel or even give an answer.. then she gonna say now becoming veri xia lan... then when i shut up she will say eh i talking to u mute ar dunno how to answer ar... wad u want from me sia... provoke me summore i sure one dae hold up the chopper de.. trust me... try me la... And so it goes.. was playing when i suddenly broke down... dunno what went wrong.. felt so much like crying so i ended up crying.... tears are seriously like the free flow... i cry facing the com.. reason fer crying = dunno.. felt lonely.. felt so alone.. no one cared.. no one is there fer me when i need ppl ard me... feeling damn heavy.... felt like it was gloomy and raining.. where are u??????????? why ain't u here.. have u became my hi bye fren as well... dun do this to me... felt so down but no one there to make my dae.. A:why sad??? B:dunno..just felt like crying.. A:too bad can't help u cos u dun even noe why u're crying.. B just feel that no one cares wanna run away from home.. dun like the place i'm in.. got no hide outs.. can't do things i please.. can't make things rite... ferever in the wrong and still in the wrong |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
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