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And so it goes..
dead so dead... recently had no mood to blog... i'm confused yes i am.. bt i'm lost as i always am... i haven't found an answer fer the things i always wanted an answer fer... thought exams were over but my teacher called this morning... i almost thought i fergot sch... but he called to say i got to attend sch tmr as i haven't sat fer a paper... i remembered i did but nvr the least i'll just have to go fer it.. i haven't been loved before.. haven't been the lucky girl to be in a realtionship... am i that hard to communicate with??? i am just a simple girl seeking fer a simple love... simply cos no one understands me at all.. those who really knew what i always wanted betrayed me... and those i really cared about, turned their backs on me... now i've got no one.. no one to care and no one to love... lost the meaning of living.. but no one sees it.. i'll tell no one how i feel cos no one will bother.. if i said i wanna die and leave this place, i'll get a hell load of scolding... just becos no one sees me sad does not mean i'm not crying and bleeding on the inside.... i've lost nothing but have gained nothing... no wrong i've lost everything and still haven't gained anything... its not anything major but at the point i'm leading its the way i see things.. if only i was a rich kid... i will nt care if my parents had time fer me.. cos i had everything i would have wanted... i swear i nvr wanna lead the life brenda ong is leading now.. but what can i do?? i'm the brenda ong i nvr wanted to be.. its me and i can nvr change the fact.... till my death bed, i'm still and always brenda... i don't noe why ppl dun like me but i guess they all must have their reasons fer doing this... i wanna lead a life perfect fer once.... no one is perfect i noe... but wadever... god i wanna know my life ahead.. even if u won't tell me, help me... change my life.. i dun wanna be ugly betty fer the rest of my life.. i just want things to change a little here and there.. i noe u love me and the time fer me to go is not up but i just dun wish to hope upon the stars anymore.... anyways i'm really tired.. so i guess i'll be gone after saying my peace.... i love u and i wan u to noe that i'll try my best to wait fer u... well i dun even noe who the u is.. i dun even noe if i've found someone i like.. i dun even noe if i'm in love.. and the best is i dun even noe if i've got someone i like... cos right now i noe no matter who i fall fer, will leave me... thats fer sure.. if the person said he liked me, when i fell fer him, he'll leave me.. as dimple as A,B,C... COS GOD JUS DUN WANNA SHINE THE ONE ON ME.. BE DIRECT AND TELL ME U JUST DUN WAN ME TO BE LOVED AND STUFF.. IN FACT I THINK I GOTTA SAY THIS NO MATTER WAD... I MAY SAY I DUN HATE U, BUT DEEP DOWN I NOE THE LITTLE DEVIL IN ME FEELS LIKE TELLING U 'I HATE U'!!!!! I MAY SAY U LOVE & CARE FER ME BUT DEEP DOWN AGAIN, THE LITTLE PART OF ME TELLS ME U HATE & DUN CARE A FUCK FER ME.. COS IF U REALLY CARED AND REALLY LOVED ME, U WOULDN'T WANNA BRING ME HERE TO SUFFER ON UR BEHALF.... I'M OFF.. SO YUPPZ.. take care everyone... <3 brenda |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
ηυяѕуαιяαн αzмαη♥ Brina!♥ Eerah!♥ Iqah!♥ Jellybean!♥ Joanne!♥ Lisa!♥ OE blog Sharon!♥ Fiona Nadia♥ Naim♥ January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 |