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And so it goes..
fer god sake I want the world to noe i love susie... i love her i swear... i nvr meant to hurt her... god i need help... i dunno how to put this down in words.. but she is just so different from me... susie has the figure i dun have.. we have so much that is not in common... she has frenz but not me.. she's loved but not me... sometimes i wonder are we just to that limit of frenz.. she's my one and only aiai and i swear i am not gonna accept anyone else as my aiai anymore... when i'm down, i dare not look fer her.. cos i'm afraid that she's having a fun time while i'm having the worst of time... when i'm happy then i dare look fer her.. but i feel that she is so so good.. when i'm down she's there to pick me up... i noe i am a loser... can someone tell deep down how much i miss her.. i'm feeling damn sry towards my dearest susie cos in the end i still missed joey.. fine i noe... but i need time to heal cos afterall it was joey who brought me up on my feet again... she was the one i spend almost all my time with.. we even go out together... and we meet and see each other almost everydae... now without her, i dun even wish to go out... i dun have the feeling fer outing... without her everything seemed so lost... my old self seem to come running back to me again... susie seriously words can't say how much i'm sry towards u.. i noe u tried ur best to make me happy.. u tried ur best to make me ferget all about her.. tried ur best to bring a smile on my face.... tried ur best to find a topic to start talking with me.. i dun wanna let u go.. it will hurt just as much... god, i wished u were right here with me... gimme a helping hand... if only i wasn't so soft hearted.. i noe i'm irritating cos i noe i'm disturbing joey and her new life ahead of her... her path seems so bright.. i noe i should not bring darkness into her life again... i can't help but break down and cry each time i see her... now i noe.. i shall shan away from the light.. i shall hide myself in my shell... i'll bring my robotic life back... i'll be alright.. its just that i needa time out... i'm breaking down... so smashed.. i dun wanna do this anymore.. i dun wanna hurt them anymore.. i dun wanna take away her life.. i dun wanna be a murderer in the end... i gonna go mad alr.. god!!!!!!!!!!! would u seriously save me pls.. i swear i dun wanna hurt another kind soul... why issit my fault when i'm always the one being hurt?? i grow this way??? fine then.. anymore crap??? ppl i'm willing to take all the pain but can it come one shot???? i can't take so many blows......... messed.... seriously lost in my pain... |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
ηυяѕуαιяαн αzмαη♥ Brina!♥ Eerah!♥ Iqah!♥ Jellybean!♥ Joanne!♥ Lisa!♥ OE blog Sharon!♥ Fiona Nadia♥ Naim♥ January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 |