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And so it goes..
i'll be there till the end of time i'd do my part to stay faithful and true... when darkness strikes and no one is gonna be there fer me, i start to think... think of u and me.... when nothing seems right, i'll start to question myself... where and when did i went wrong... ur name is scribbled everywhere when i feel sad.. i write ur name on my wall.. use a marker and start scribbling ur name... when i have a knife with me, i slash ur name on my wrist... its 2.30am and i'm still awake... well ritez then i shall go clear things up and poof off to bed i go.. nites everyone.. and u're being missed by brenda no matter wad.. And so it goes.. fer god sake I want the world to noe i love susie... i love her i swear... i nvr meant to hurt her... god i need help... i dunno how to put this down in words.. but she is just so different from me... susie has the figure i dun have.. we have so much that is not in common... she has frenz but not me.. she's loved but not me... sometimes i wonder are we just to that limit of frenz.. she's my one and only aiai and i swear i am not gonna accept anyone else as my aiai anymore... when i'm down, i dare not look fer her.. cos i'm afraid that she's having a fun time while i'm having the worst of time... when i'm happy then i dare look fer her.. but i feel that she is so so good.. when i'm down she's there to pick me up... i noe i am a loser... can someone tell deep down how much i miss her.. i'm feeling damn sry towards my dearest susie cos in the end i still missed joey.. fine i noe... but i need time to heal cos afterall it was joey who brought me up on my feet again... she was the one i spend almost all my time with.. we even go out together... and we meet and see each other almost everydae... now without her, i dun even wish to go out... i dun have the feeling fer outing... without her everything seemed so lost... my old self seem to come running back to me again... susie seriously words can't say how much i'm sry towards u.. i noe u tried ur best to make me happy.. u tried ur best to make me ferget all about her.. tried ur best to bring a smile on my face.... tried ur best to find a topic to start talking with me.. i dun wanna let u go.. it will hurt just as much... god, i wished u were right here with me... gimme a helping hand... if only i wasn't so soft hearted.. i noe i'm irritating cos i noe i'm disturbing joey and her new life ahead of her... her path seems so bright.. i noe i should not bring darkness into her life again... i can't help but break down and cry each time i see her... now i noe.. i shall shan away from the light.. i shall hide myself in my shell... i'll bring my robotic life back... i'll be alright.. its just that i needa time out... i'm breaking down... so smashed.. i dun wanna do this anymore.. i dun wanna hurt them anymore.. i dun wanna take away her life.. i dun wanna be a murderer in the end... i gonna go mad alr.. god!!!!!!!!!!! would u seriously save me pls.. i swear i dun wanna hurt another kind soul... why issit my fault when i'm always the one being hurt?? i grow this way??? fine then.. anymore crap??? ppl i'm willing to take all the pain but can it come one shot???? i can't take so many blows......... messed.... seriously lost in my pain... And so it goes.. would u be there to love to be with me??????????? would u say that ur love is always true would u always be the one to take my breathe away??? feeling more and more messed up each dae or should i say everytime i open my eyes to face this world.... just wish to run away ferever... felt so messed up on sudae nite that i finished up the whole bottle of cough mixture.... felt my stomach burning but just didn't wanna think at all.. so i went to bed and listened to mp3... listened to only 2 songs and kept my mp3 on throughout the whole nite... but didn't realli bother... if only someone special came into my life.. if only that person was someone so near yet so far away from me... if only i knew the person... i promise to cherish u... all i am, all i'll be.. everything in this world.. everything that i need.. fer the rest of my life u dun have to think twice.... in my world, before u, lived outside my emotions din't noe where i was going till that dae i found u, now u opened my life to a new paradise... i hope the one that i always wanted to show up soon... be the star the shining one.. i'm glad he found someone... i may be hurt but that will be fer awhile i guess.. cos i knew u will nvr like me.. maybe u just needed a company when u were trying to hook up with the girl u always wanted to be with.. i should have known it all along.. cos ugly betty will nvr find true love no matter how... no one will love or cherish me... maybe all this while, u ppl treated me as frens only... i'm sry i wasted so much of ur time... promise i won't bother u if u didn't call me up... feeling hurt and what not always happens to me cos its always puppy love.. i assume too much perhaps... feeling so numbed in me but still being able to feel the blood drip... signing off knowing i'm the ugliest betty no one will ever wanna be with... And so it goes.. i need someone by me right now right here.. but no one is there fer me.. feel like crying but gotta hang in there.. got no one to talk to realli sucks... felt so happy but the mood just left in a swift second... was supposed to go out but then got no space so i am currently stuck at home... time and date spells it all.. if i went, it will be my 1st time lor.. but then cannot go.. i also lan lan... haiz... wish to talk to someone on the phone now.. but then nobody wanna talk to me... haiz!!!!! got no frenz is like tt de... so sian.. if only i had frens.. if only i had ppl who cared and really knew wad i wanted.. deep down i suck... arrrgh... so much fer crying.. i gotta be strong... feeling veri messed up in me right now... have no idea what i want... i just wanna drink till i get drunk.. just wanna smoke and make everything smoky.... just wanna shout and clear my lungs... ppl say crying out i'll feel better bt then no matter how much i cry i am still the same.. no matter how i try to pour out everything, everything is just being bottled up... feeling veri frustrated now... dunno wad i wan... argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why no one love me at all!!! why no one bother to care fer me... i laugh but can't anyone just tell that i'm sad and lonely... i wanna be loved... but just no right person to come into my heart.. the one that i like and love, dun feel the same way fer me... why no one ever liked me???????????? why am i born to be so imperfect.. why is things turning out this way fer me??????????????????????? dun say u noe me u dun even understand me......... no one will care fer me de.. every where i go ppl are walking these streets with someone to hold... but not me.. i walk alone.. all by myself.. no one will come and hold my hand... i'm a monster.. with me ard, no one will be happy... why why why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate this life.. hate me.. hate everything~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so it goes.. i am seriously gonna go crazy... i can't take it anymore... she's nagging nagging and nagging... i gonna go mad alr... bursting!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm messed up... but i've got no where to run... STOP IT PLS DUN TORTURE ME ANYMORE... i'm alr not doing well wad more do u wan??? set me free and i'll be greatful can??? would that be enough??? i need u... i miss u.. i locked myself up in the room the minute i came home from sch todae.. i dun noe how to tell her i failed... i dun wanna let her down.. and u.. when i looked at the pic we both took together, i cried... i set u as my wallpaper.. i can't stand it anymore.. i dun wanna lie to myself... i realli miss u adn i need u veri veri badly... i act like i dun care and i act like i'm happy but i'm seriously sad... too sad fer words... haiz everyone is trying to kill me slowly.. i dun wanna go on so i shall stop here.. bye ppl.. And so it goes.. this goes out to the someone that was once the most impt person in my life.. i didn't realize it at that time.. i can't fergive myself fer the way that i treated u so i dun realli expect u to redo.. its just.. i dun even noe.... so just listen... u're the one that i want u're the one that i need.. the one that i gotta have just to succeed... when i 1st saw u, i knew it was real... i'm sorry about the pain i made u feel.. that wasn't me.. let me show u the way... i look fer the sun but its raining todae... if u said u cared, then u wouldn't have hurt me like i ain't shit... when u walked past me, it felt like u didn't even know me i loved u with my heart really and truely... i guess u fergot the time that we shared... i realli wanna show u i realli wanna hold u i realli wanna noe u like no one else can noe u... u're number one in my heart and i can't believe this friendship is torn apart.. i need u and miss u and i wan u and i love u and u were my everything and i realli miss u.. i noe u gonna sit and play this with ur new frens.. and then sit and laugh as u play with them.. the thought of that just shatter my heart.. now i wanna hold u until i cant hold u... without u everything seems stange, ur name is ferever planted in my brain.. take away the pain, take away the hurt baby we can make this frenship work.. what about when u looked into my eye and told me we could be frens ferever?? i guess everything u said was a lie.. i think about it and it brings tears to my eye i just wish everything could turn out different cos i realli cherished u.. but no matter wad, u will be in my heart & will always be my baby.. i just wan u to be happy.... wheather its with or without me... And so it goes.. heard u ain't feeling well todae... hope u are fine.. get well soon my love..... everything about u stays so true... chat with the 3 of them after sch todae... had lots of fun with them... guess i simply fell in love with them.... as fer the other u, i'm afraid i dun noe wad i wanna say to u... these daes seemed so hard to pass without u cos u are like disappearing from my life... and i miss u.... as much as u try to avoid me, i tried my best too... but the more i tried, the more i saw u... i have been seeing u almost everydae now... but i just dun have enough courage to go up to u cos of so much things that's happening... anywayz..... i'm really really afraid... shall not go on anymore... so till then... bye ppl... And so it goes.. I SWEAR TO GOD FER SURE THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE HER... I HATE HER I HATE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE MAKE ME WANNA CRY!!!!!!!!!! BUT SHE WAS THE ONE WHO BROUGHT JOY AND SMILE TO MY LIFE.......... I DUN NOE HOW TO LET GO!!!!!!!!!! ARGH WHY MAKE ME SUFFER LIKE THIS... DO I MEAN JUST SHYT TO U????? u again and again lied to me... U LIED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate ppl who lied.... u pricked another needle into my heart.... u're another one i really can't let go... even a 3 yrs frenship i could let go but i can't let go of u.... i rmb i shared my best and my worst side of life with u... u were the only one i dare pour out my feelings to...... now u noe i'm hurt but u ain't gonna do anything but rub salt to my wound???? i thank u.... i seriously thank u veri much........ but i wonder why u do this to me... what did i do to deserve this... seriously everytime i think of u, my eyes will just fill up with tears.... gosh i miss u........... but i swear i noe u will nvr return.... He's the one i still miss... can i still love u although i noe i stand no chance in ur path??? pls.. i'm not asking fer u to like me but could u just let me like u??? i dun noe why u were the one i fell fer and now i'm still thinking of u... i'm dead so dead..... school is having a rumour soon... they think i'm in love with him.. do u like me??? or do i like u??? i dun noe.... bt wadever the case i noe u'll nvr like me so i will stop wishing upon a star..... they think u are my boyfren... omg how can it be????? haiz did veri badly fer my mid yrs... dun wanna talk anymore... so i'm gone... just the messed up girl signing off.. brenda... And so it goes.. arrr wadever it is i seriously miss her... i miss her alot!!!! her name is ferever planted in my brain fer as long as i live... i'll tell the whole world i miss u cos i nvr regretted having u... u gave me my chinese name... in my blood i flow sumewhat ur blood... i loved u but i nvr knew how to cherish.. and now everything is too late.... wherever u are rite now pls take care... i just wanna tell u fer the last time of my life ah ma i love u no matter how much i disliked ur son... i'm sry fer not knowing how to cherish u.... charlie ong i just wanna tell u i'm sry fer not fergiving u.... fer the last time in my life i wanna have no more regrets fer the ppl that has their blood in me.... i skipped sch again todae.. so i'm gonna be dead on mondae but wadever... can't be bothered.. anyways i'm off alr.. bye ppl... And so it goes.. went back to sch ytd.. was so lame.. i didn't know wad paper i missed out bt den when i went back to sch, there wasn't any paper that i missed out.. made me wake up so early in the morning to end up going back to sch fer nth.. waste of my beauty slp time.. went out with my brother gf ytd nite.. went tm to get fer my brother a new wallet and headed down to sakae sushi... we chit chatted fer awhile before heading back to home.. skipped sch todae as i was really tired and unable to wake up... i'll be back in sch tmr i promise... missing alot of ppl... i miss him, him, her and her... going out with her again todae.. going fer a job interview... all the best.. i wish u luck.... alritez i shall write what happen todae to my dear diary tmr... gosh its raining i gotta hurry so yuppz seeya ppl... byez... And so it goes.. dead so dead... recently had no mood to blog... i'm confused yes i am.. bt i'm lost as i always am... i haven't found an answer fer the things i always wanted an answer fer... thought exams were over but my teacher called this morning... i almost thought i fergot sch... but he called to say i got to attend sch tmr as i haven't sat fer a paper... i remembered i did but nvr the least i'll just have to go fer it.. i haven't been loved before.. haven't been the lucky girl to be in a realtionship... am i that hard to communicate with??? i am just a simple girl seeking fer a simple love... simply cos no one understands me at all.. those who really knew what i always wanted betrayed me... and those i really cared about, turned their backs on me... now i've got no one.. no one to care and no one to love... lost the meaning of living.. but no one sees it.. i'll tell no one how i feel cos no one will bother.. if i said i wanna die and leave this place, i'll get a hell load of scolding... just becos no one sees me sad does not mean i'm not crying and bleeding on the inside.... i've lost nothing but have gained nothing... no wrong i've lost everything and still haven't gained anything... its not anything major but at the point i'm leading its the way i see things.. if only i was a rich kid... i will nt care if my parents had time fer me.. cos i had everything i would have wanted... i swear i nvr wanna lead the life brenda ong is leading now.. but what can i do?? i'm the brenda ong i nvr wanted to be.. its me and i can nvr change the fact.... till my death bed, i'm still and always brenda... i don't noe why ppl dun like me but i guess they all must have their reasons fer doing this... i wanna lead a life perfect fer once.... no one is perfect i noe... but wadever... god i wanna know my life ahead.. even if u won't tell me, help me... change my life.. i dun wanna be ugly betty fer the rest of my life.. i just want things to change a little here and there.. i noe u love me and the time fer me to go is not up but i just dun wish to hope upon the stars anymore.... anyways i'm really tired.. so i guess i'll be gone after saying my peace.... i love u and i wan u to noe that i'll try my best to wait fer u... well i dun even noe who the u is.. i dun even noe if i've found someone i like.. i dun even noe if i'm in love.. and the best is i dun even noe if i've got someone i like... cos right now i noe no matter who i fall fer, will leave me... thats fer sure.. if the person said he liked me, when i fell fer him, he'll leave me.. as dimple as A,B,C... COS GOD JUS DUN WANNA SHINE THE ONE ON ME.. BE DIRECT AND TELL ME U JUST DUN WAN ME TO BE LOVED AND STUFF.. IN FACT I THINK I GOTTA SAY THIS NO MATTER WAD... I MAY SAY I DUN HATE U, BUT DEEP DOWN I NOE THE LITTLE DEVIL IN ME FEELS LIKE TELLING U 'I HATE U'!!!!! I MAY SAY U LOVE & CARE FER ME BUT DEEP DOWN AGAIN, THE LITTLE PART OF ME TELLS ME U HATE & DUN CARE A FUCK FER ME.. COS IF U REALLY CARED AND REALLY LOVED ME, U WOULDN'T WANNA BRING ME HERE TO SUFFER ON UR BEHALF.... I'M OFF.. SO YUPPZ.. take care everyone... <3 brenda And so it goes.. went over to my grandma's place todae.. didn't noe i wasn't suppose to go.. but went to whitesands with my cuzzie in the nite.. saw him.. guess they were there.. then after i made my way out of the shop, everyone disappeared... that person didn't smile at all... tt person took it that i was invinsable... well if u wanna be so childish.. what more can i say rite... haiz got no mood fer all this peanuts... i'm still sad & lost.. dun noe where i should start from... haiving no mood is the first thing that i've lost... its the biggest thing as well.. fine.. i'm talking a whole load of crap... i shall be gone to bed by now.. so nitez to all.. signing off the lost girl.. And so it goes.. i've learnt so much from her death... learnt that if u love the person u gotta cherish them.. gotta say 'iloveu' before everything's too late... i've also looked on the other side of fearing the dead.. i would rather be able to see such things cos i am then able to help them as well as overcome my fears.. i guess after so much that happened, i'm no longer afraid of such things.. i'm gonna miss my other part of the family... she left us at the cremation hall just now.. & i cried.. then at there i realized everyone actually cared alot fer her... its just a pity... i just can't fergive myself cos when she was there, i didn't cherish and now she left us.. my mama was about to give her the medicine alr then this kinda things happened... god seriously save me from this hell!! where were u when i needed u??? when i needed u, i looked fer u bt then u were not there.. maybe its all fated.. so i shouldn't dwell on u anymore.. feeling really tired.. jus wanna close my eyes.. let go of everything.. don't wanna hold on anymore.. mondae is the last and final paper!!! yay.. GOD BLESS ME.. i dun noe why but i'm still thinking of u.. seriously.. perhaps u're my 1st love??? i really really loved u i guess... i fell fer u but u left me just like tt.. u made me catch hold of ur hand but when i was about to grab, u let go... i need u badly now.. i need someone by me... i wanna cry and i needa cry... i jus wanna tell u i love u And so it goes.. i'm feeling fucking tired... i've got no strength and i'm falling sick... i've got not enough rest at all.. i can't concentrate and can't make it fer this mid year i know... HATE THIS SHYT!!!! why is maths so difficult???????????? i've gotta go sch in the dae fer exams and when i reach home, i gotta get ready and head down to the funeral wake... and then when i return from the wake, i gotta slp and wake up early in the morning the nxt dae... and it repeats all over and over again... what more do u want???? i'm gonna break down already.. how long can i hold it there??? by the time it wanna end, the other part has ended too... i just can tell no one how i'm feeling... i'm gonna drown myself in my own troubles and blood... i dun wanna trouble others cos they have got they're own crappy stuff too... i have got no one bt the wall to turn too now... i'm lost.... so lost!!!! And so it goes.. i went up to her just now.. saw her face.. and felt so lost... when she was ard, i didn't cherish and now that she's gone, i'm feeling lost... whats wrong??? seriously... i felt like i'm left with this week to see her pale white face and after which, its gone and gone ferever... i feel so restless. i haven't got enough sleep but i gotta wake myself up as the dae after i've got sch... been pushing myself... i can't make it... only todae when i sat down and looked at my mum, i realised that she's growing older... she has aged so much i can hadly see the happy her... she's stressed out she needs a break... a long long break.. a break from everyone and everything... i wanna settle down with her... i wann have a long nice and peaceful chat with her.. i wanna cherish her ferever.. i love my mum alot... anyways i'm feeling really dead and tired.. feeling so lost i don't noe what i can do... i'm off as my eyes can hardly open anymore... so nite nites to all.. and take care!! tears are taking over my words... i've got nothing more i want but u... i miss u boy... why have u gotta leave me this way??? pls come back real soon.. i gonna change.. change till u like it the way u always did.. nite nitez boy... rmb if one dae they backstab u and leave u again, u can always come back to me cos u're the one i love afterall... And so it goes.. 7may2007 i lost her!!! i walked to school feeling lost this morning.. i was walking when tears just fell off the ground.... i almost got knocked by a car.. i remembered it was red in color... i couldn't take it anymore so i went home during recess... i was crying and so geraldine brought me to the physics lab... my sister came to fetch me back.. and my teacher told her i'm sry to hear bout ur grandma's death... anyways fer ur info its my father's mother who went off not my mother's mother... so pls if u dun noe wad is going on, dun conclude on ur own... cos it may be kinda insulting... 8may2007 todae i woke up went to sch and came back from exams.. so much so like a robot... but i fergot to take my pencil case with me.. so i went to sch skipping essembly and went to the physics lab... think someone spotted me but he couldn't catch up with me.. so i got my escape... went to the com lab 1 and was standing there alone like a idiot.. miss ang came over to me asked me why was i alone, i said i didn't noe.. after which she asked me to get into the room 1st then she ask was i alrite then i said yupp then she said i look like a zombie... all my teachers seem to show so much care towards me.. went to the sonka ytd afternoon... my heart was crying but i just wanted to hold on and be the strong brenda fer once.... everything felt so 1st time.. it was the 1st time i held joss sticks and so on.. it was kinda cranky cos i didn't really know wadda do and the guy seemed so fierce.. went home late at nite... and gotta see one of my nephew... he looked so much like ronald... omg i almost fell in love with him... he was kinda cute but younger then me by 1 year.. l0l and i'm his auntie.. omg can't believe i'm like so old!!!! anyways gotta be there again todae... guess i'll probably head down soon.. and so much i have to say... and everyone is asking me to take care.. dun fall sick and stuff... i'll take care.. and thz fer the concerns... And so it goes.. she msged me this morning... when i woke up i read it then i replied her.. now i noe what i needed was answers.. only answers were able to make me think... i bombed her with mighty load of questions.. and i got answers... and one of which is nope we can nvr go back to where we were... u've got them now... that place is only our memory to lead..... its only through msges but i cried i dun noe why.. tears just keep flowing down my cheeks... i know i need u badly.. i knew i was that close to u... i nvr knew i would tresure this friendship so much... i knew i miss u.. i'm hurt deep down... but i pull a stong front infront of me... i just dun wan ppl to know that i'm troubled and lost... but still loads of ppl saw my pain... i don't know why but somehow what she said moved me.. i felt the sincerity in her... i knew what she said wasn't just fer saying it.. i asked if she had to let go of her current happiness, to go back to the idiotic unhappiness, why would she choose that?? she said she may let go of them... well.. if it means having to let go of him, why would u choose to come back to me???? i'm just the one who made u suffer and made u so unhappy.. they were the one's who brought joy into ur life... she said she was sry cos she realised she neglected me since the dae she went to her granny's place to stay... well was it cos of that??? was it cos of that we drifted apart?? and there after she got along with the guy and we drifted even further away??? she said she was not fit to be anyone's best fren but she didn't noe how much joy and peace i had with her... she didn't noe she made the best best fren ever.... then she said maybe she was too selfish... always thought she was not in the wrong till then when she finally realised she was at fault, the person is already hurt... i was really lost fer words and didn't know how to reply her but then if we really had to settle down to talk, i might cry all over again.. i'm sry.... i dun think i've got the courage... wo zai ye mei you yong qi zai da shen shou hua le.. i'll hide myself and nvr be the one i used to be... without u, things changed... and therefore, i'm lost and gone ferever.... i miss u alot... but i gotta change... my aiai once said she'll be there fer me but then she got her own frenz too.. maybe i'm not fit to be her aiai too.. i didn't really care fer her??? i wan u to noe that no matter wad i miss u deeply... i know deep down no matter wad happened, i want u back.. but if i gotta be back to reality, i noe i can't have u by me anymore... u take care kkaes.. rmb if u're sick go consult a doctor and eat ur medicine... when u got headache, get him to crush ur pills fer u before taking them... i bet he know's all this by now... bye girl... And so it goes.. ewwww u're disgusting la siol!!!!! god........ damn u man..... read my blog and dare say things like after exams rite... now also not yet over... yucks u totally make me wanna puke... thankx man thanks fer being so disgusting... i like it bitch..... come on man look who's talking.. ifs in the middle of exams but u're going out also wad... LAMER!!! l0l who cares if u read this... u like to read let u read lor... anyways this is my blog so i can say wad i wanna say type wad i wanna type... i got the last say wad... bleah not happy come find me and say it in my face la!!! =P hum ji si bo... or izzit bo ji... opps sorry... go tell ur frenz so they can help u say me... u got a whole load of frenz ma now.. not like me one fren also dun have... sobzzzz... but who cares???? NB dun think u got fren i scared la hor.. cos u think i give a shyt?? i dun even give a damn anymore larhz... CCB!!!! HATE U LA!!!HATE U LA!!!!! i miss u to the core and so much so i think i gotta hate u as a result.... my blog not ur story book la dun have to read if u dun wan... cos no one is gonna point a gun and say GO go and read her blog NOW!!! anywayz went out with liz todae.. went to get a bag fer fathiah at bugis street and went back and forth from bugis junction to bugis street... but after which we headed back to central.. l0l went to the MRT station and recalled i fergot all about bringing my EZlink card.. lucky she got her bro's card with her so she loan it to me... after central, we headed home.. went over to my granny's place as they wanted to celebrate the MAY baby's bdae... arul msged me and said he saw me at the coffee express... l0l he said i didn't even smile or say hi.. well i was too engrossed with talking so i didn't realize ppl ard me.. anyways from my granny's place, i went over to my cuzzie's place to take her clothing as she wanted to stay over at my place.. and from there, finally home sweet home.... alritez i shall stop here... nite nitez to all.. and muakz to my loves out there... And so it goes.. FUCK LA!!!! GO AND FUCKING HELL LIE TO UR HANDS PLS!!!!!!! PLS PLS PLS!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!! I CAN'T IMAGINE THIS... U'RE ACTUALLY SAYING 'I MISS U BUT I BET U DUN NOE' L0L COME ON!!!! U SAID U WISHED TO HAVE ME BACK AND WANNA GO OUT WITH ME BUT PLS GO LOOK AT URSELF 1ST... U'RE GOING OUT WITH ALL OF THEM AND U NVR DID CALL ME AT ALL!!!! ITS NOT THAT I WANNA GO AND NOT THAT I INSISSTED U CALL ME ALONG BUT I DUN NOE WHY I CAN'T GET OVER THIS SHIT LA YA!!!!!! U AND UR BLOODY NONSENSE..... L0L I'M TRYING TO ACCEPT THE FACT AND MOVE ON ALR!!! PLS DUN TELL ME U MISS ME ANYMORE... HYPOCRITE!!!!!!! LAMERS PLS FUCK OFF.. if u've moved on, dun be like a door swinging open and close... open means open closed means closed dun swing urself make me hook and swing open again... lame fuck la!!! i can't take this shit anymore will u just come in my face and tell me what the fuck u want pls!!!!! pls i beg of u la cb... nb ccb... HG la u... CCB yao shiu!!! wadever... arrgh!!!! idiot act like u care.. then when i say drama, u say i am saying u!!! pls i beg u pls pls pls... pls come up to me and tell me what u fucking want if u care!!!! fucking angry sia!!! anyways dun wanna think too much alr!!! i love my aiai~~~~~ and i wanna treasure her ferever.. anyways everyone out there take care!!! And so it goes.. alritez i skipped sch again todae.. cos i couldn't wake up... heard that sch was chaotic todae... miss my frens and my aiai.. i feel so lost... lord pls bring me back to where i belong.. i beg of u.. i'm confused can't u see?? can't u tell??? i miss her... she wrote me a letter and i feel so useless cos i can't help her when she missed her twin so much.. she's lost... she's no longer the aiai i used to noe a long time ago.. she seem so gloomy these daes.. not like in the past.. although we were not close in the past, i can tell she was so happy.... fer the other her, can't u see everything is over?? its game over... u made me keep having flashbacks... i think of u but u slowly fade away alr... cos u kept saying u miss me but u ain't doing anything... u proved me so so wrong.. we ain't the same anymore u've got ur own frens and ur own sweet life to lead... i'm just the loser crying over spilt milk.... And so it goes.. todae's paper really sucked!!!! i screwed up on my science paper 2 & 3.. and my stupid chinese paper was so damn difficult!!!!! gosh i don't know what i'm gonna do if things go wrong man... saw my aiai in the morning todae.. she was sho cute... she came over to me and said boo... hehs i noe i'm lame but i'm loving her.. she cares fer me... we're bestie's gonna be.. gonna make her my aiai fer life... she's missing her twin i noe.. but i feel so bad cos i can't even help her... i'm lost.. out of track... but i'm still confused.. i confessed that i've sinned... now would u pls help me i pray that u'll help me with my troubles too.. lord i lift all my troubles to u from now hoping u'll lead the path and guide the way fer me.... i have so much i gotta say but i don't noe where to start from.. i'll end here since thats the case.. take care too all and *muackz* i love my peeps out there.. especially my most yao hao de aiai!!!! hehs okies okies poof and off i go... |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
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