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And so it goes..
well i've learnt that some things are better kept unsaid... some things are meant to be secrets ferever... sometimes i just feel like i'm not me... sometimes i just dun wanna make myself think bout the past... i noe although we quarreled, deep down u care alot fer me that's why i'm trying to adjust my timing so that i'll not have to bump into u.... it was drizzling this morning and u actually texted me... well i gotta say i'm touched and thank u fer being concerned... after all u're my mumziz so i'll have no reason to hate u... so i gotta keep my big gap shut fer heaven's sake... sometimes i wish to run away from home but i noe i'll still return... so what's the point of making u worried???? false alarm??? thats rather lame and childish... cos looking back, u've did so much fer us and still trying to do more fer us... there's nothing more we could have asked fer... at times i just wanna break down and ask myself who on this fucking earth am i living fer.. sometimes i just wanna scream it all out... does anyone noe what i'm going through rite now?? does anyone noe how hurt i am fer being called a si fei zhi??? NO!!no one noe's how hurting that can get ... its not like i wanted to be fat... it isn't my wish to be fat either... but my daddy and mummy are fat too.. so what have i gotta do if i'm after them... it flows in the blood... when u insulted me calling me a fat pig, did these words 'hurting ppls feelings' come across ur head??? i guess u just said it cos it popped up ur arse.... well i ain't trying to be mean but do u noe that when u called me that, look who's talking.... the pot calling the cattle black??? HA look urself in the mirror b4 insulting me the nxt time kidd... sometimes i really don't understand why this kinda childish kids are ard me... well if u read this, and feel like i'm saying ur fren, u can go ahead and tell everyone... tell them i said them... tell ur hubby i said about his frenz... well girl, i'm seriously tired... i wanted us to be back to where we were so badly but after all this shit has happened, i think we'll nvr walk back there together again.. no matter how i tried, no matter how much effort i tried to get u back into my dictionary, there will nvr be ur name written in my dictionary ever again... the page which contained ur name, has been ruined.... i don't noe where our frenship went... i don't noe what happened to us... don't noe what i did.... don't noe what u did either... perhaps all that has happened was my fault.. though it takes 2 hands to clap, i'll just bare all the consiquences... cos u'll nvr be wrong and ur frens will all think i'm at fault too... do u noe that when i confronted u, my eyes almost filled with tears and i almost cried cos looking back we didn't have to do this in the past... when did frenship ended up to be enermies??? well i think i need time to cool down... i wanted us to be back to our saturdae shopping and our marina square again... our slacking at playgrounds and stuff but i guess we'll nvr be back there again... just note that this girl writing her dear diary now is seriously hurt.. and her heart is bleeding non stop.. her tears flow like the tap of free flow..... she tried veri hard to hold onto her frenship but the frenship just jing bu qi kao yan... there's nothing much this girl here can do but watch her hand let go of this frenship that she tried so hard to keep... this girl here thought of being nice and this is what she got in return fer being nice.... i thought i found another true fren but she actually told me that ferget bout this issue but if u really wanna settle things, down pull me into the picture... this person will nvr noe how hurt i was when i saw all those words... maybe i gotta accept the fact that i'm a loser and have no frens... gotta walk this cold empty street alone while others have their clicks with them... HURT is all i gotta say... |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
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