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And so it goes..
i finally remembered wad i wanted to get... i went to white sands with my fren and got my dye.... went over to my granny's place to get my things done... my aunt insisted on walking me home.. so walked back and in the end walked her back together with my sister's company... life's still sucky.... class was bored.... i'm still sick.... still at the bottom of no where.... still unable to find myself.... still feeling as restless as before.... and stop calling me ur dear girl cos u noe i ain't ur best fren anymore... i noe u can feel it sumhow too... if their ur best fren go ahead... dun come to my face and tell me u still miss me.. and dun tell me u miss going to sch with me.... cos i noe that its just drama.... even if its not, i won't buy them anymore.... when i wake up, i go to sch alone trying to fight my tears... cos i seriously miss those times goin back with u... when the sch bell rings, and its time when everyone run out of the sch or hang ard meeting up in groups, i dun noe where to go... and got no where to run.... i walk as fast as my heels could bring me and just walk out of the sch.... got no one to turn to if i felt like laughing... got no one to turn to if i ever felt like crying... can't stop walking even if my legs realli hurt till i felt like crying........ cos if i ever did, ppl will think that i was a mad girl.... now i'm alone all alone.... got no frens... no one at all... not even a good fren... i'm gaining and losing them all in one nite.. my life's like playing the stake... its like u got up and down.... got times when u gotta let go... i learnt and i lost everything in jus one nite.... i lost everything dearest to me... and thats my good fren... i miss her... i realli do... when i walk home alone, i'll think of her... and i'll recall the times when we walked the path together... walking, laughing, feeling sad and happy all together... when i walk to sch, i remember those times when i walk to the trafic light and wait fer her... we would go late together, joke on the way to sch and talk bout wad happen the nite before... but things went missing in jus one nite... i lost everything... i lost her too... i miss her voice, miss her laughter.... miss everything bout her... but she is nvr coming back to me... that i noe and i dun blame her... i blame myself.... so u noe hw much pain i'm going through now?? i'm in hell!!!! when i reach sch early, i ask myself why am i there so early....where am i gonna go to kill my time??? how was i gonna survive till we essemble???? i turn and look to my left and right trying to find u.... but i couldn't seem to ever see u.... then i finally woke up and told myself that i'll nvr have u in my life ever again... i kept asking myself... why can't this shit happen after my Ns?? why can't we be close ferever??? why gotta betray me time and time again... why gotta hurt me once and once again?? what have i done?? why is this happening to me?? when i was a little girl, i used to ask my mum if i was her daughter.... asked till she got real fed up with me... but i can't help it... i felt like i was picked up from the rubbish dump... and i felt that the 2 other B's were my step sister and brother..... cos they could use everything they could find but they will nvr wash it... and i end up doing everything... i feel so much like cinderaller... but its jus that her life was colourful... but i have no hope... not more then her.. cos i didn't have a figure... i am fat... fat to the core!!!! sad and fucked up life!!! i realli wanna end it but i wanna do it in a nice way.... |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
ηυяѕуαιяαн αzмαη♥ Brina!♥ Eerah!♥ Iqah!♥ Jellybean!♥ Joanne!♥ Lisa!♥ OE blog Sharon!♥ Fiona Nadia♥ Naim♥ January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 |