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And so it goes..
gosh whats wrong with me??? nothing got into my head when i was trying to study jus now.... science was difficult... damit and exams are just ard the corner... maybe not corner... its next mondae... i'm not gonna do well fer sure if i dun buck up.... my world seems to shut its door behind me... complete darkness fills my life... oh god is the world really coming to an end???? seems like everyone's having flashbacks.... my life's completely ruined..... all gone... mistakes were all made.... now i see no more path infront of me... i don't noe what my nxt step will be... i don't know how to walk anymore.... i'm so messed up i can't even find myself...... i used to at least be able to sketch out a little part of me but now its blank... no matter how i scribble, draw, scream, cry or laugh, no one is able to see me... so do i... i can't see myself either.... i'm not emo i'm just seriosuly unable to find me... i'm getting anxious cos i dun noe where i went... my condition is getting from bad to worse... i don't noe where to start in life anymore... don't have choices anymore... screwed up!!!!! totally messed up my own life not knowing what i've done.... no one seems to ever be there fer me.... i've no frens and got no one who seriously care bout me.... i don't know who to turn to fer help... i'm totally shut out of this world.... its spinning its way round me but i no longer feel a thing...... i don't know how i'm feeling right now.... perhaps i'll nvr talk to anyone anymore.. perhaps i've totally shut myself out from everyone....... perhaps i'll nvr be who i realli am... perhaps i've been possesed.... i dun noe what i want wad i need and what realli strikes me..... i want someone to be there by me and fer me... to love me and nvr hurt me... but i'll nvr find someone who can accept me who i am.... perhaps i'll nvr be accepted.. perhaps i'm fated to be alone.. to suffer alone.. to walk this path alone... as a little girl, all i wished fer was just to be normal and be like all the other girls.. but my wish will nvr come true... i'll nvr be the one i wanna be... i'lll be ugly duckling fer life???????? when will my life be like a flower or worm.... when will i bloom beautifully like the other flowers????????? when will i be the most beautiful butterfly???? i'm trying my best can't anyone tell???? can't anyone see that i'm alr trying??? its just that i made the effort but nothing changed...... when will things start to change??? when will i be loved?? when will i be in the lime light??? why do i have to be always at the backstage... am i realli not worth a single thing to anyone???? do i realli have to resort to such things???? life's not as simply as it seems.... i'm far beyond savage.... perhaps no one will ever be able to save or help me... i'm too heavy fer changes.... i'll nvr make it i guess.. i saw a moth fly and fell dead infront of my eyes.... izzit trying to tell me that my life is gonna end in the same way????????? |
вяєη∂α σηg яι тzєє♥ lesson #1, dont ever judge a book by its cover. 
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